BenLoka

2 months in India

2011-12-30T11:43:00.000Z

Hi there blog reader, how are you? Don't answer that, I won't hear you and you'll just feel embarrassed afterwards. Its been a long while since my last post, and the longer I leave it, the more impossible it becomes to synopsise my current reality into an accessible chunk of internet fodder. So instead I'll try and keep this post picture-based, just to distract you with pretty colours before the realisation strikes you that '...this is a blog without any writing, I've been cheated!'

Firstly, in case you didn't know, I'm living in central London as a Hare Krishna monk. You're not allowed to have a job, or girlfriends.... but its ok, because you get increasing spiritual bliss as compensation.

Anyway... India! For the first month we stayed at Radha-Gopinath Temple, which is a vibrant centre situated just next to Chowpatti Beach. There we undertook a program of intense study (looking at an ancient scripture called Srimad Bhagavatam) with the majority of hours each day spent reading and discussing in classes. We also spent 1 week on a farm looking after cows, singing with the Gurukule kids, and living the simple life which was a nice break. We attended lots of house & uni programs along the way, and one ended up being a bit of a Hare Krishna rave up... one minute we were seated within the inoffensive confines of a university lecture theatre, the next minute all the lights started flashing and all the students were running around on top of the tables chanting at the top of their lungs. Amidst all these experiences, our main base was Chowpatti - which is also the primary base of HH Radhanath Swami. His inspiration is so widespread there that consequently there are around 180 Bramacari monks living in the temple, most of whom have given up successful careers and comfortable lifestyles, just to sleep on the floor and explore the spiritual plane. During the day we would discuss all varieties of spiritual subject matter from some truly amazing teachers. In the evenings we would sleep on the roof above the temple and fall asleep looking up at the moon, hearing the sound of the Hare Krishna maha-mantra.

For the second month our group stayed in the holy land of Vrindavana. We visited many of the holy places of Krishna's past-times and each night had the privilege of hearing from HH Radhanath Swami. There were 5000 pilgrims gathered together each night to hear. The 6 of us traveled together, and living in such close quarters you definitely are required to develop a great level of tolerance, and conversely you perhaps start to notice the parts of yourself that you don't really like. They say it's easy to go to a mountaintop and meditate cross-legged in the cool breeze onlooking a beautiful sunset, but dealing with people everyday and facing your own bad habits is the real challenge, and its something anyone on the spiritual path will need to cross over to be truly transcendental. Whatever situation we find ourselves in is actually a perfect arrangement for us to grow, we just need to see it that way. Radhanath Swami often says that the only way to be happy is to appreciate and be grateful for what we have right now. Because 'if we're not grateful, we'll always be expecting something more'.

Arriving at Krishna-Balarama temple

Goshalla in Vrindavana

Annakuta festival at Goverdhan Hill

Harinam around Goverdhan Hill

Birthplace of Srimati Radharani

River Yamuna

Bathing in the River Yamuna

Samadhi of Srila Prabhupada

Again, its impossible to summarise two such intense months of my life, and now I'm back in London it all seems like a distant dream, but one final flash of inspiration came right at the end of our time in Vrindavana. Just before leaving we came across this really friendly old lady from new york. She told us something I hope I'll never forget:

"Whatever happens, whether it seems like something good or bad, Krishna is just giving us exactly what we need.
You may be a young man, but Krishna is THE man, and he's running the whole show. He knows what you need even before you do."

Simple Living, Higher Thinking, Extra Sleeping

2011-05-30T14:13:00.010+01:00

Its been a few months since the last update, and its been so busy I've not had time to consider such diversions as typing words in a box on the internet. But here I am doing just that and already its apparent that the world is a better place.

I'm currently in Kent for a few days and have awoken after 14 hours solid sleeping. This is perhaps not such a good thing, but a clear sign that my body was in need of some rest, have been overdoing things quite a bit recently. London is an amazing place to stay, but in terms of sleeping I have difficulty there. We live right in the centre of the city, amongst all the madness, so its not so easy to drift off into the land of nod. To rephrase the term, its probably more like crashing off into the land of headbang. But oh well, sleep deprivation is a small price to pay for the association of sadhus and the chance to be in a place where spiritual life is priority (As Bhagavatam says, we should not try and adjust our physical condition, but simply adjust our consciousness, then there will be no problem).

This weekend we had a retreat at Bhaktivedanta Manor. I hadn't been for ages and forgot how nice it was there. Even though a bit cold that day, was still a great atmosphere. There were about 16 of us from our friday mens group which now has its very own AMAZING website. Did I mention is was AMAZING. www.kclounge.com

Of all the things that have happened over the last few months, I think last week was one of the highlights. I went on a Bramacari retreat for a week to Hungary. The place was called New Vraja Dham (or 'Krishna Valley'), a Hare Krishna farm community made up of devotee families, all living in an idillic setting. It was like another world.

Perhaps the biggest acclimatisation we had to make was the fact there was no electricity. Residents and guests there survive on candlelight in the evenings, and if you want a shower during the day you just light a fire in the stove and wait until the water heats up. Although the 'simple living, higher thinking' concept can seem like an austerity at first, this place was probably the closest thing you could find to heaven on earth. Fresh green hills stretching for miles, blue skies, all centred around a huge temple filled with some of the most incredible artwork. My phone battery ran out after the first day, but I managed to take a couple of pictures of the temple walls, including this one.

My lungs felt clean and filled with fresh air, and there were no distractions whatsoever, meaning that I could just sit under a tree reading for 6 hours at a time, or go in the temple and chant for 8 hours at a time. Evening Bhajans were out of this world, and the whole mood there was just complete absorbtion in Krishna Consciousness. Not an easy place to leave, but the ideals I hope to take with me - that life is beautiful when you don't fill it up with junk. There were a couple of festivals over the weekend, and on the Sunday we celebrated Sivarama Swami's Vyasa Puja. This is us walking through the village beforehand.

I seem to have been blessed with some amazing association over the last few months, with Sivarama Swami, Candramauli Swami, Indradyumna Swami, Niranjana Swami, Kadamba Kanana Swami, all seeming to appear at once. Best and most inspiring of all was Radhanath Swami last month who we got to see for several days while he was in the UK. One of those days included a boat trip across the thames with about 250 devotees dancing and chanting into the evening. So much so that this massive boat began to rock - definitely not an experience I'll forget.

To finish I just want to mention what I've dubbed the joke of the week from Hungary. Me, Shiv and Bhakta Pasha were exploring some of the holy places in New Vraja Dham one morning on a japa walk. In one of the woods we came across an old abandoned miniature shrine enclosure thing. We took a look inside and there was just this one solitary mosquito flying around. I commented "look, this mosquito has a temple all to himself." There was a 10 second pause, then Bhakta Pasha's face lit up as he replied... "A Mosque!"

Hare Krishna album

2011-03-16T13:37:00.003Z

Here is a recent music session we had - Hare Krishna chanting with various instruments. I'm playing guitar and singing, but the flute is the best bit. You can download it for free here...

BBC Comic Relief 2011

2011-03-11T13:12:00.002Z

How to say the word "Chaitanya" on TV without anyone noticing....

This was done for the BBC's David Walliams 24 hour comedy panel show or something like that.

Hare Krishna @ HSBC

2011-02-09T15:11:00.009Z

I've been so busy lately, have hardly had time to go on the internet or even look at my phone. What year is this? Who are you?! GIve me back my shoes.

OK, I think I'm going a little crazy from sleep deprivation, but anyway, check out these wonderful pictures. Its from an event we took part in a week or so ago at the HSBC skyscraper in London's Canary Wharf area. You'd think people in a bank wouldn't be very interested in karma, re-incarnation etc. but it turns out the opposite is true! (In your face traditional judgement). I was looking after the stall on vegetarianism - apparently if you don't eat meat you live on average 7 years longer. That is a REAL fact (from the internet, so definitely real). Around 600 people turned up to see all the different aspects of Vedic Culture, from that Henna hand drawing thingy to the teachings of Bhagavad Gita. Just see...

I

Slaughter-free milk ...coming this January!

2010-12-22T17:36:00.001Z

GO TO www.thelotustrust.org/ahimsa-appeal.html

I know what you're thinking... how did my hair grow back so fast

SHAVED UP!

2010-12-14T18:05:00.004Z

can't do the pantene flick anymore.... oh maaaaan

Messages from another world

2010-12-01T14:50:00.006Z

Just got back from a week up north by the lakes. Heres a picture I took while we were up in the mountains....
One evening while we were up there, one of my friends (who has psychic medium abilities) decided to contact the spirit world. I didn't want to get involved because it was dark outside and I prefer to do things like this in the sunny daytime when stuff is less spooky, so I went and sat in the corner with a book. (Not hiding... reading! I wasn't hiding) Anyway, despite this, halfway through the experience my name got called, and this was because there were some dead people (spirits) who wanted to talk to me.

Admittedly I was a bit freaked out at first, but it ended up being quite a light-hearted conversation. They reeled off an insightful collection of Ben-facts, how as a child I often drove a little plastic car around the garden, how there was one particular patch of grass in the garden that didn't match up with the rest, riding my bike down a very steep hill and crashing, chipping my tooth, witnessing a car crash and a variety of other events that I enthusiastically concurred with. They said that I've achieved some great things in my life so far, that I'm a person with a lot of heart (which is nice to know biology-wise), and that revealing these events was a way to show that they've always been there. So there you have it, I have my very own stalker.

I seem to be getting a lot of subtle messages/signals/signs recently, coupled with frequent synchonicity. Not quite sure what to make of it, but heres another thing happened. We'd gone away mainly for a bit of reading/study time, so I was reading Srimad Bhagavatam and Bhagavad Gita earlier that day for about 4 hours. In both books, I kept coming across the same example. Its a commonly used example about the soul and God being like two birds sitting in the same tree. One bird is captivated by the fruits on the tree, frantically chasing after more, the other is merely witnessing. The tree represents the material body, and life after life, the soul and God travel from one body to another. The soul is so anxious about trying to enjoy the material world through the medium of the body, but if he simply turns toward God, who is sitting right next to him, then that anxiety and struggle immediately vanishes. Anyway, I was reading this example, again and again. Eventually, after reading it the umpteenth time, I put my book down on the bedside table. Got up and looked at the small picture hanging above the bed. I'd not seen it when I first came in, but when I saw I couldn't believe my eyes....

Anti-bullying week

2010-11-21T10:22:00.000Z

Looook! I'm in this video. Bullying can be a wonderful thing, but there are also some downsides. Here I am in this video talking about how to deal with it.

First month in London

2010-11-18T15:56:00.002Z

There's a new youth group here at the temple and its called Launchpad. They're having a gathering every saturday about 2pm. To celebrate, here are some autumnal pictures taken by the wonderful Jagannath Sharan das - he's a really talented photographer... it wasn't even sunny that day - or Autumn! I think in this picture I was told to look deep, but this is clearly impossible for me.

Living in Soho for the past month - and right next the temple - has been a really wonderful experience. Except for at 3.30am this morning when I got chased by a car full of Muslims around Soho Square as one of them was shouting "WHO IS YOUR GOD?!?!". But apart from that its been right lovely.

Living in London

2010-11-02T15:01:00.017Z

Recently I made the decision to move to London, bought myself a laptop, and moved in last Thursday. I've been living in Kent for a while, and although its lovely there, I don't get to do cool things like THIS...

I'm staying just next to the Hare Krishna temple, which is just off Oxford Street, London's busiest street. Although its a thrilling concept that I can now rush over to topshop in the dead of night, (should my unbridled yearning for well-fitted T-shirts take over), the main reason I'm moving is to be next to the temple, and devotees. Although ultimately a spiritual practitioner should be aloof to his external situation and circumstances.... being in the company of those who are more advanced, and those who would like to be, definitely helps move things along a bit quicker.

This is also the month of Kartik - the most conducive month of the year for spiritual advancement, so what better time to go! By the way, the pictures here were taken by a guy called Enrico who is very good at taking pictures.

This is the Sunday Feast Class. They hold this every Sunday and is a great time to visit. This class/kirtan was being taken by Dina & Jen - an amazing devotee couple from Brighton. Both of them speak with wonderful realisation and bring a great vibe with them wherever they go.

In terms of my life, I kinda have no idea where its going. But who does. And it could end at any moment so hopefully I can be a bit intelligent and learn something in the process.

Birthday vid

2010-10-02T13:29:00.000+01:00

It was funny making this video because it made me realise how long i've been making videos for on youtube... flippin ages!

but it was good because thanks to Alex of nerimon fame, much of the uk youtube community that I remember all ganged up together and did something for Charlie's birthday. Mainly on the ukulele. George Formby... a being way ahead of his time.

Festival by the sea

2010-09-22T09:42:00.008+01:00

Went along to Brighton Ratha Yatra on Saturday - amazing day chanting by the sea. Lots of people there commented that this is the best festival of the year, and here you can see why...

After a month of living off bread and water, I'm finally feeling a bit better now (after India). Some people have commented that I've lost quite a bit of weight lately, and this lack of cuisine may well be the reason why. I fully intend on putting myself on a crash diet of 7 meals a day just to make up for it. 6 of those meals will be cake.

This was Jonny and Kurt's first time wearing a ~~bedsheet~~ Dhoti, and I think they pulled it off pretty well.

Following Brighton, on Sunday I went to the Kent Radhastami festival, celebrating the appearance of Srimati Radharani. I should perhaps be a little concerned that with this sudden influx of festivals I've been attending, everyday life will now appear to be a sombre, cheerless void and I'll have to spend the rest of my days blowing up balloons just to facilitate my addiction.

Vrindavana and The Journey Home

2010-09-08T13:35:00.003+01:00

I've just returned from a wonderful trip to India. The last two and a half weeks have been spent in Vrindavana, which is a very special place indeed. Vrindavana is known for being the spiritual abode of Krishna, where He eternally performs His blissful and all-attractive pastimes.

First stop was Goverdhan. I was lucky to have Sachi there to guide me - both geographically and spiritually - I'm not so good in either case. We did Parikrama, which means circumambulation, around the sacred Goverdhan Hill. I'd seen photos, but nothing could compare to being in its presence. Radha Kund, Shyama Kund and the Manasa Ganga.... I've been reading the pastimes of Krishna almost every day this year, and being here was bringing a whole new dimension of reality to it.

The trek was about 15 miles, which we did barefoot, and it took about 5 hours. On the way there were many beggars, and because of my skin colour I had quite a few people approach, mainly small kids, grabbing onto my arms, pushing against my stomach, holding on to me as I walked along for 5/10 minutes at a time. They'd say the same phrase (which I couldn't understand) over and over again until their voice became choked up and they couldn't speak anymore. Externally their condition seemed so unfortunate, but internally it can be said that they have the greatest wealth. I was thinking "you're begging from me but I should be begging from you!" The soul follows its desire, so to take birth in the west surrounded by comfort like I have means my consciousness was far far away from wanting to give up sense gratification. But for them to take birth in a holy place with nothing material to their name exemplifies great spiritual advancement, and the more of them I met it became apparent that these weren't ordinary kids. For the last hour the weather switched from humid heat to blasting monsoons. Suddenly we were traipsing through roads up to our knees in muddy water surrounded by cars, monkeys, stalls, rickshaws and a number of unidentified floating objects. Completely chaotic but when the glimmering Goverdhan came back into view it became a blissful experience.

During the trip I'd read one line in the Srimad Bhagavatam "Fear is caused by seeing something other than God". I immediately thought this was a really valuable meditation and so tried to keep it in my mind the whole time I was there. We stayed at ISKCON's Krishna-Balaram Mandir, a palatial setting in Vrindavana to which many thousands of pilgrims flock to every day. From here we visited the many temples and holy places of the area such as the Madan Mohan temple, Radha Damodara temple, Varsana, Nandagram and the Yamuna river.

Despite cautiously surviving on an apple and a piece of bread (half a sandwich) everyday... I got sick! I fasted for several days at a time, but when one minor illness stopped another started. Devotees call it purification and I can see why. As I commented at the time - when you're squatting over a hole in the ground, uncontrollably releasing brown liquid from your lower half, there's no chance of developing false pride, of thinking 'look at me, i am something great'. So ultimately its beneficial. I heard recently that humility means honesty, looking at your position in life and being completely honest. Real humility is the basic starting point at which you can start to see clearly. When ego is there, there's no chance of understanding anything.

I awoke on Jamnastami morning at exactly midnight, my head spinning, and spent the first 3 hours of the day coughing, which thankfully ceased somewhat after I'd had a shower. Like many others, we decided to spend the entire day chanting with no food or water, so japa meditation went on from early morning right through to early afternoon. After an intense 64 rounds I collapsed on the bed, still dizzy and sick. My throat was dry from the heat, body aching and I was finding it hard to breath so thought it best to have a break. After hearing a 30 minute class on Krishna Lila on my ipod, all of a sudden I felt inspired to go to the balcony when something amazing happened. A (perhaps mystical) breeze came over me and my whole being felt completely energised. I grabbed my beads and chanted japa for another few hours. Overcoming physical pain - this felt like a massive breakthrough for me, not because of any spiritual ability of my own, but simply the power of the Hare Krishna mantra, and the potency of the atmosphere... combined they were showing me that transcendence is actually possible. Now I found myself feeling incredibly lighthearted, not in an ordinary everyday sense, but unconditionally, as if it could not be disturbed by anything. And with that sense of freedom and permanence automatically came happiness as I spent the rest of the day in the temple room chanting in kirtan until midnight. Janmastami was my favourite day on the trip, because for the first time i understood what it was like to be completely absorbed in chanting, uninterrupted throughout the day, and the transcendental effects it can have upon the practitioner. I'm not at the stage yet where I can sustain such a practice daily, but it was a wonderful glimpse at what I should be aiming for.

Another fascinating aspect of the trip was just observing nature - peacocks, parrots, camels, hogs, dogs, cows and monkeys. It was so surreal seeing all these animals just walking along the road beside me, especially the monkeys who seemed like little CGI humans - their movements fascinated me. Quite often we'd see a hog writhing around in the mud in glee, eating stool, or intoxicated with joy at snuffling around a heap of rubbish at the side of the road. I'd always heard this example, but it became frighteningly illustrated upon seeing these scenes - that each species of life is just trying to get sense pleasure in a variety of crazy, degraded and gross ways, all programmed according to their particular body-type. If you tell a pig to stop humping his pig-wife, get its head out of stool and look to spiritual life, he'll just ignore you and carry on. Human beings aren't so different in this way. But we have the ability to think and reason, to see the futility in material pursuits, and thus break out of the cycle, making every moment we have in our human body vitally important.

I lost my phone while I was out there. At first I felt disturbed - 'oh! all my photos, my ideas, my numbers - gone!' but that only lasted a few seconds. Again I put it down to the influence of the Vrindavana and the many saintly people there that I wasn't too bothered by it. I was gonna lose that phone at some point, either now or at death, so what's the big deal. I hope that I can always take the association of people who can help me remain in this mood, and remind me of these essential facts, because I'm not sure how else I'll be able to remember.

My companion for the plane flight home was a german girl - the only other white person in sight, so I assumed the airline must have arranged us to sit together as an ethnic social experiment. She'd spent 3 months travelling around India and had also spent some time in Vrindavana. We had some prasadam, talked about our respective experiences, and until she put on a Lindsey Lohan movie it seemed like we may be on similar paths. It was at this point that I delved into my favourite book of the moment ' 'The Journey Home' by HH Radhannath Swami.

I advise anyone and everyone to pick up this incredible use of tree, if only to get an insight into something genuine. Living in western civilisation its hard to find anything that is actually 'for real' or authentic, but this book delves right to the core of eastern spirituality, and is an earnest search for truth that I think anyone can relate to. The inside sleeve features a map of the world, and as I glided over continents from the comfort of my air-conditined plane seat, I imaged the struggles and divine realisations the author had experienced on the surface of the earth below.

On an entirely different note.... look at this picture someone sent me after I posted my last video. Oh internet, you are crazy sometimes.

Off to gravity defying India tomorrow

2010-08-20T17:41:00.003+01:00

I stole this off Kripamoya's blog, because its really interesting.... "Satellite views Earth's gravity in high definition" from the BBC news website....

So no wonder levitation is so big in India. I'm flying out there tomorrow... by plane... or maybe i won't need a plane. No I'll definitely need a plane.

Rural Ratha Yatra

2010-08-05T13:49:00.008+01:00

Here's a picture from the recent mini Ratha Yatra that took place in Kent.

The temple here has been a bit forgotten about (I didn't even know it existed which is why I always go to the one in central London), but as of this month it seems to be experiencing a revival!

People call Kent the garden of England, probably because its mainly comprised of fields... and old ladies looking for a post office. People came from all over the place so I think there will be a lot of interest once it gets going.

The Breakup

2010-08-04T11:42:00.000+01:00

Well its been a month so I guess I can talk about this now.... me and Mandy split up. 3 and a half years together, probably the hardest thing I've had to go through, even more so because I was the one that ended it.

Its not that we didn't get on, it was just the fact that we're moving in very different directions. There weren't really any arguments and we were both perfectly happy together, but I knew in the future there would be.

My life is always going to revolve around trying to make spiritual progress, and the temporary details like what I do for work, what clothes I wear, having a family etc. all come secondary. Not that I neglect them, but they're not the focus. For her its the opposite, so it seemed like we'd be pulling different ends of the same rope.

The philosophy I follow tells that if we rely on externals for happiness we'll become progressively more miserable as we get older, but if we try and find happiness from within, we'll become incrementally more self-satisfied. Option b) has always held more appeal for me. But of course this path isn't without its difficulties.

Negative experiences (like this one) however can be quite sobering, they force you into a position of humility and helplessness, which ultimately is the only state of mind in which you can ever learn anything. I know Mandy is/was my biggest attachment outside of my family, and my own bodily comfort, both of which we have to get kicked out of eventually. To the degree that we're attached to something that gives us pleasure, to that same extent we'll feel pain when its taken away. This is what makes attachment to the temporary so troublesome.

Factually there is only one relationship that will ever satisfy us, the one we're all searching for, which is the eternal relationship between the soul and and God (the complete whole). The absolute truth must contain everything within and beyond our experience in order to be complete, so God must have both personal and impersonal aspects. If we analyse our desires, the thing every living being is yearning for is a perfect person to have a perfect relationship with. that is Krishna, or the personal aspect of God.

I could speak a lot more on this post, but the main thing I learnt from the past month is that I still have a long way to go. I need to be more tolerant of others and always strive to see the good. To protect my own spiritual life without insensitively deflating how someone else choses to live. If it appears that I'm not doing this in the future, you all have permission to kick me in the shin.

I went to Italy for like a day...

2010-06-17T15:18:00.002+01:00

...but it was totally worth it because I got to stand under this archway!

AND see Keanu Reeves on the plane journey...

Dad & Srila Prabhupada

2010-06-14T14:39:00.000+01:00

I was taking a glance at some random pictures online of Srila Prabhupada's morning walks, and astonishingly recognised me dad in a couple of the photos!! (second from the left in both).

He was involved with the movement quite early on, and I've always thought it funny and coincidental how I ended up going down the same path after receiving a book on the street one fateful day. The philosophy instantly struck a chord with me and imparted a truthfulness that has continued to be both thrilling and a great source of relief to all the misconceptions I had about myself / reality. Srila Prabhupada was the founder of the Hare Krishna society we now know, who by his purity was able to bring the spiritual process of Krishna Consciousness to the entire western world. I read his books, listen to his chanting and take inspiration from him everyday, so this was quite wonderful to come across.

The Inner Google

2010-05-13T08:52:00.006+01:00

So I've been thinking a lot about the mind lately (surely there's a paradox there somewhere) - and how its a lot like Google.

What we type in google is very much an extension of what's circulating in our head. The mind has 3 functions - Thinking, Feeling & Willing. After considering something (thinking) we start to imagine what it might be like (feeling), and then do it (willing). 'Bhagavad Gita' says that whatever we contemplate, we'll feel impelled to do. Attachment to the particular ideas and desires we have is so strong, its an almost unstoppable force to refuse. (eg. thinking about biscuits, imagining what biscuits taste like, then running to the biscuit tin and stuffing one in my face.)

So Google is very similar. What we type in the box can be considered Thinking. The options that come up can be compared to Feeling, or weighing up the possibility of different experiences, and what we click on is the act of Willing. In other words, the page we end up on is directly determined by what we type in the box.

The process is so fast it can often pass us by, but if we want to really get a grip on our lives, its a good thing to know. To be aware of what we're thinking about, and what we're meditating on, because ultimately this will dictate our actions and where we end up. From our actions develops our nature, and ultimately the kind of person we end up being.

Doritos Fail

2010-05-12T08:43:00.001+01:00

Nope! Me and my brother did not win the Doritos competition. Oh well here is our entry, watch it with sympathetic eyes. Yes we rushed it! And no, neither of us eat doritos. Ah the world of advertising.

Isle of Wight

2010-05-07T11:33:00.005+01:00

I have now returned from The Isle of Wight! ...which coincidentally is what the BNP are planning to rename great Britain if you vote for them in the election today. More on that later...

For those who don't know, the Isle of Wight is a tiny prehistoric island off the south coast of England, and I've been down there over the past week for Mandy's Birthday. We were staying right next to the sea, and this is where I was fortunate enough to chant my rounds in the morning....

I also got to do several hours reading every day which was an endless stream of inspiration. I find just sitting down and focussing the mind on Srimad Bhagavatam completely obliterates all of the self-imposed gloom we humans like to burden ourselves with. Generally people are only moody because of some degree of selfishness, so when you can remind yourself not to be such a div, you naturally end up feeling jolly and lighthearted, like a huge weight has been lifted off. This one incredible analogy from Sukadeva Goswami really stood out to me in particular:

"During the rainy season the moon was prevented from appearing directly by the covering of the clouds, which were themselves illuminated by the moon's rays. Similarly, the living being in material existence is prevented from appearing directly by the covering of the false ego, which is itself illuminated by the consciousness of the pure soul"

So we can understand from this that the body and false ego are only attractive because of the spirit behind it, without which they would really be nothing special. Although sometimes, our life and consciousness in the material world can seem pleasurable, this is only because it is filtering the original, blissful and enlightened consciousness of the pure soul.

So back to the election. Am I voting? - No. Why? - I don't vote for the same reason I don't eat meat, or beat up kids, because although it doesn't make a huge difference, I still don't want to contribute to how screwed up society is. Democracy actually doesn't work for one simple reason - because the mass population doesn't have the intelligence to make the right decisions. If you don't believe me, watch Jeremy Kyle for 5 minutes, then we shall talk.

Leaving decisions on leadership up to your average citizen, it like putting an alcoholic in charge of drinking laws. They're addicted, so naturally they'll make pubs open all the time and have beer vending machines on every street corner. In a similar way, the general public are heavily under the influence of their own flickering wants and needs, without any true vision of the overall good. Politicians simply pander to the masses, and thus the public's malleable network of desires becomes a messy manifesto of unobtainable policies and repetitive false promises.

In Vedic times there were four divisions of society. At the top were qualified spiritual leaders who were the main advisors to the administrative class who upheld the law. Then there were those who worked in agriculture, trade and business, and lastly the laborer class. Everyone fitted into a particular category depending on their nature - and it worked! The reason it worked (ie. everyone was happy) is because everything was centered around spiritual values and self-realization. If we forget about these two things and simply put all our efforts on satisfying the temporary body and mind, then we miss the point entirely. Modern materialistic society is a great testimony to that.

ANYWAY STOP THINKING - here is a picture of me and Morgan Freeman ok

Choir-mania

2010-04-21T11:29:00.004+01:00

This month, as you may already know, its all about communal singing groups. First of all I get sent this magnificent choral appreciation of Pardon Me...

(must be my favourite so far - we're still going strong in the tunnel of love, click here for the latest link)

.... then on Sunday I went along for the very first UK Mantra Choir, wonderfully hosted by Jayadev. Here's a bit of video from their youtube channel.

Young Me / Now Me

2010-03-28T18:37:00.005+01:00

Me and my bro - 'then and now'... definitely the best use of a Sunday afternoon. This is our entry for the Ze Frank contest. Notice the hats now fit! Some things never go out of style

Tunnel of Love

2010-01-28T15:02:00.003Z

Sometimes things happen on the internet and nobody can explain why. Here is the video that started it all.

Layer 1:

Layer 2:

Layer 3:

Layer 4:

Layer 5:

Will it go on forever??!! I hope so.

Snow Fear

2010-01-13T11:57:00.002Z

Snow. Once a charming climatic surprise that would innocuously drift from the skies as if a gift from baby Jesus himself. Now... THE SOURCE OF ALL DEATH AND MURDER IN THE WORLD!!!!

That's right, its been snowing here in the UK for quite some time now. Perhaps seen in a more positive light were the calendar open on Christmas Day, the media has made it clear that ice is an unwelcome guest in 2010. The UK press treats snow in the same way it catalogues immigrants, murderers and pedophiles. ie. it's ruining the economy, taking innocent lives and disrupting our children's education by hanging around outside schools.

Menacing snowflakes are ornamenting my windowpane as I type these words so I'd better be quick. Lets just say that its no surprise the media unveils each newsworthy event with a dramatic cyclone of neurosis - its what society wants after all, we've chosen a life of fear...

We go to work because we're afraid of poverty, we forge social relationships because we're afraid of loneliness, we build houses because we're afraid of the cold, and when we get in the car we immediately strap on a seatbelt because we're afraid of crashing and dying. Everything we do is motivated by fear.

Those in the know will tell you fear comes from our attachment to matter, or rather our attachment to the idea that:

1. I am the enjoyer

2. I am the propriator

3. I am the controller

We give up these three concepts and fearlessness will undoubtedly ensue.

Similarities between Edward Cullen and KRISHNA

2009-12-08T13:12:00.009Z

First of all I'd like to clarify that I'm not a Twilight fan. Mandy has been on at me to see New Moon with her for months, and since I consider my cinema days kaput I've always refused. As a great sage once advised a King... "there is no stronger obstruction to one's self-interest than thinking other subject matters to be more pleasing than one's self-realisation." However my reaction was more along the lines of "it's for little girls! Leave me alone!"

Nevertheless we made a deal. I'd go and see New Moon if she read a Krishna book cover-to-cover. Astonishingly she began reading at a rate of 2 hours a day so I had to do the noble thing and view this topless hunk-fest on the big screen (see trailer here if you don't know what I'm talking about). Upon watching I couldn't help but notice a striking number of parallels between the story of Bella and Edward, and the original pastimes of Radha and Krishna.

Similarities:

Edward Cullen is 17 years old for the rest of eternity
Krishna never ages past around 17 years, and is eternity youthful

Edward Cullen's body dazzles whenever he steps into the sun
Krishna is beautifully effulgent, and the rays from his body give light to the entire creation

Edward Cullen has many fangirls who scream and follow him everywhere he goes
When Krishna walks through the streets the women all stop what they're doing and run to see Him. Some of the younger girls even faint.

Edward leaves town to protect Bella from danger of being killed
Krishna temporarily disappears to protect the Gopis from the danger of false pride (spiritual death)

When Edward leaves Bella, she runs through the forest completely distraught, looking for him everywhere, eventually falling to the floor
When Krishna seemingly leaves Radharani and the Gopi girls, they run through the forest, desperately looking for Him everywhere, weeping in the immense fire of separation

For months afterwards, Bella is sat in her room, completely still and morose as the seasons go by
In Krishna's absence the Gopis remained standing still like painted pictures. They describe themselves as dead bodies without Krishna.

Bella starts to hallucinate and see Edward everywhere, especially when she is in danger
Radharani becomes mad in Krishna's absence and see's Him in everything. Krishna always appears when there is danger.

Alice comes to deliver a message to Bella that Edward is always thinking of her
Uddhava comes to deliver a message to the Gopis that Krishna is always thinking of them, and in fact their separation is impossible at any time because He is all-pervading

Bella offers to give up her life to spare Edward's
Radharani was prepared to go to hell for eternity, simply to relieve Krishna of a headache.

------------------------------------------------------

So really both tell the story of selfless love, which is really what we are all searching for. The love in this world generally consists of "If you do something that pleases me, then I'll love you," which isn't love at all, its a business transaction. So its understandable that stories like twilight are popular, because they speak of a love that can't be accessed in our present condition. Our relationship to the temporary bodies of this world are just that. Even Bella herself admits that her death will separate them eventually, which is why she begs him for immortality (to be turned into a vampire).

Is it any coincidence that Twilight, the most popular love story of modern times, resembles to some extent the eternal pastimes of Radha and Krishna. Probably not.

The condition of the living entities in the material world is that they are in an illusioned state of consciousness. That is they don't know who they are, where they come from or where they are going. But one thing we do know is that we need relationships, this is always present. Naturally we'll try and fulfill this desire through matter... hence the many material relationships of this world, affection for people, things, pets etc. But the ancient texts tell us that the personal form of Krishna is the ultimate object of affection. Any attraction we feel to something material is only due to the presence of Krishna.

There are many forms of yoga and philosophical speculation out there, and largely they will say that the goal is to live in the moment and become one with God (or become God). Higher authorities understand however that this will not fulfill the hunger of the soul, because when there is only one there can be no relationship.

Endeavoring to realise our eternal relationship with the supreme whole (or Krishna), and the love between Radha and Krishna is described to be the highest platform of spiritual bliss. These pastimes aren't just stories, but the greatest transcendental meditation. So perhaps if the many millions of teenage girls who meditate daily on the story of Edward and Bella, were to simply turn their attention to Radha and Krishna in the same way, they could become the topmost yogis.

Differences:

Edward is a teen vampire played by actor Robert Pattinson ("KPatz")
Krishna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead and the unlimited enjoyer of everything

Not sitting on the floor

2009-11-27T13:17:00.009Z

This past week you surely will have been an elated jubilant mess if you are [a] a Hare Krishna Devotee, or [b] an avid fan of the number 40 (you know who you are!). On Sunday, the Hare Krishna's celebrated 40 years in London with an inspiring 7-day festival, bringing together many respected spiritual-types from around the world. I watched online everyday and then on Saturday I attended the gala event at London's palatial Troxy venue along with 1700 other guests.

Apparently it was noted in a recent survey, that when asked to name three things the average Londoner associates with the capital, the most popular answers were 1. Black Taxi Cabs, 2. Red Buses, and 3. Saffron clad Hare Krishna's (dancing & singing through Oxford Street)...suggesting that the movement has well and truly established its place in London.

I didn't actually manage to get a ticket originally as the event had sold out, but luckily Matt, Jamuna, Jahnavi and their family were kind enough to allow me a spare ticket. It felt very surreal sitting around tables with devotees (as apposed to on the floor). The event was wonderfully hosted by Kripamoya das and featured special guest speakers HH Radhanath Swami, current temple president Jai Nitai das, and former temple president Ranchor Prime, who I spoke to recently about his new book - click here to see the video. There was music from Gaura Vani & As Kindred Spirits, and the night culminated with 4 of the original 6 devotees from America (and a 5th via satellite) who pioneered the movement in the UK , made friends with (and gave spiritual guidance to) the beatles, achieved a number 1 spot in the charts, and very much led the way for the monumental community that stands today. All varieties of people from all walks of life, coming together to live under simple spiritual principles. Unlikely in this day in age, but it happened.

For more photos of the event see http://davidc.zenfolio.com/troxy

Hello. This blog is made of words

2009-10-08T20:56:00.008+01:00

I feel an update is in order! I've totally neglected this blog lately. If this blog were a child I'd totally lose custody.

Anyway, how are you? You can't answer that so I'll keep talking. I seem to have been off the internet for the last month or so due to an increase in real-life happenings. This is most inconvenient, why did I have to take birth in such a world. Oh well, can't dwell on that now.

Just wanna share with you guys a video I love. I was in central London on Saturday and spotted this guy on Oxford Street while I was on Harinam, not really knowing what was going on. Now I've just seen it via buddhiyogi.blogspot.com (one of my favourite google reader feeds), and it all makes sense... genius.

So yeah, I was in London giving out a few flyers for our next Loft event. I designed them myself, look at how shiny they are. Also, consider yourself invited.

I bought a new phone last week, so hopefully from now on I can start taking more pictures and post them on here, or twitter, or maybe I'll just look at them myself and not tell a soul. The man in the O2 phone shop had a really unique sales technique. He emerged from the backroom hobbling on two crutches, and for every phone he was describing he used one of the crutches as a 'pointy' stick to illustrate what he was saying, which was subsequently followed by a mini trip-over. I found it both endearing and amusing how a man would endure actual physical distress simply to demonstrate the sliding function of a sony ericsson C903, and so I thought I would save him any further bother and go with this one.

Youtube-wise, I actually have a bunch of videos I've made, but simply no time to edit them. I'm currently editing some stuff for Charlie, (you may remember him from my temple video), and then I'll get started on my own stuff. I just got an e-mail from him in India, he's over there for three months studying, sooo wish I could have gone to that, feel like I've missed such a great opportunity. But of course I have to let go of that idea. Time and space do not define us. The world is simply a manifestation of our own consciousness. You project whatever you are.

Another significant thing that happened recently was the interview I did with HH Devamrita Swami. Such an incredible personality and masterful speaker on the philosophy of Krishna. Here are the first two videos, a third is on its way.

Evidence of my cow face

2009-08-11T16:49:00.006+01:00

OK, so the above picture illustrates the fact that I was indeed dressed as a cow in central London the other weekend. What purpose could this serve you may ask. Was there some sort of moo'ing contest? Or were you simply walking the streets offering undignified milk to thirsty hobos? The answer lies within this short film:

That's right, we were doing it for Ahimsa - cruelty free milk! We believe - like Jesus - that all animals should be shown compassion and care. ie. not hung upside down in a slaughter house with their throats slit. No sir-eee.

We rode around for hours on bikes and rickshaws, and raised a a total of 5 billion dollars. Or something similar. Hooray! Or should I say Moo-ray. No I definitely should not.

Talking of Jesus - see what I did there - do you guys remember my friend Rasa? Well he's been through a lot, and thats a long story, but now he's back with a groundbreaking new youtube channel! Some of you may find it a little controversial, but the fearless among you on a quest for truth may like to take a look.

www.youtube.com/TheyBastardisedJesus

Hot Stone Therapy

2009-08-10T21:03:00.005+01:00

So I had to write an article on this thing called "hot stone therapy" the other day. Basically its all the rage at certain swanky-pants spas to have hot stones placed at certain pressure points on the back, and people pay a tonne of money for it. Well upon learning this, my brain automatically throught "What! I could well easily do that myself and not spend ANY money!".... so I did.

Well... I tried it out on Mandy, but didn't have any stones, so I just used pebbles from my driveway. I boiled them in a pan, then proceeded with the highly technical operation of putting them on the back. However, by the time they had reached the back area... all heat had alas depleted.

Mandy said "Ben, you've just put lukewarm gravel on my back. You're not normal"

Sometimes I look at my life and can't help but agree.

Do have a cow man

2009-07-23T22:26:00.008+01:00

You know when you agree to something that's not due to happen for a while and you think "yeah, that probably won't happen". Well it IS happening. This Sunday, 10:30am, Trafalgar Square. I'm gonna be dressed as a cow and cycling around central London with a flock of similar cow/human associates.

I only bought my new bike a week and a half ago, and its the first time I've ridden since childhood. Since my younger years I've grown progressively worse at a number of things: optimism, being small, times tables... and now I can add riding a bicycle to the list! I'm so very out of practice and quite simply doomed to failure. If you would like to witness this failure in high definition 4-dimensional reality, please comes along. Or better still, sponsor me to do so at www.justgiving.com/benloka

Spiritual Revolution

2009-06-29T22:28:00.007+01:00

Hey everyone, I haven't blogged for ages. Sorry about that. I've just been busy, so busy that I've barely had time to perform the most basic of human functions and thoughts, let alone put them into a cohesive blurb on the internet.

To make up for it, here is a picture of me at the London Ratha Yatra festival yesterday with my eyes closed.

I stole that from Yeo's facebook as I no longer seem to take pictures of my own anymore. It was such a nice day, and we spent the second half of it promoting our new club, which I'm gonna tell you about now.

THE LOFT is a new thing we're doing every 2 weeks in central London. We're calling it a SPIRITUAL CHILLOUT SESSION for young people. Like a cool place to hang out on a Saturday afternoon, and it's just off Oxford Street so really easy to get to. Please come along if you would like to, and we can hang out, eat free vegetarian food, and chant Hare Krishna. Plus its all totally free! See details below...

EVERY OTHER SATURDAY • 2PM - 4PM

@”Radha Krishna temple”, 10 Soho Street, London. W1D 3DL

Nearest Tube: Tottenham Court RD (JUST OFF OXFORD STREET)

CLICK HERE for a map

CLICK HERE to join the facebook group

- Free vegetarian food (2PM - 3PM)

- Interactive Discussions

- Live Music ‘Sounds for the soul’

- And a chance to meet like minded people

ALL ABSOLUTELY FREE!

COME ALONG TO THE LAUNCH EVENT! 'MORE TO LIFE'

Saturday 4th July 2009, 2PM - 4PM

Live cooking show this monday!!

2009-05-23T21:29:00.014+01:00

Hello blog enthusiasts! I have an announcement to make. As some of you may know, its WORLD VEGETARIAN WEEK this week, and I know some of you may find this hard. So as a handy solution to all your woes, I've got together with the people at Ahimsa, and we're gonna do a live Blog TV show this bank holiday Monday (25 May) at 3pm - 9pm GMT to show you how to cook!!

DATE: 25 May:
TIME: 3pm - 9pm GMT
or 10am - 4pm EST
WHERE: www.blogtv.com/people/benloka

In the process we're also hoping to raise some money for Ahimsa, which is charity that seeks to improve the lives of cows and attempt to stop all the current cruelty thats going on. So if you care about all living beings within this universe - and I know you do - please please donate whatever you can HERE at www.justgiving.com/thelotustrust/donate

For everyone who donates... drop me an e-mail here to let me know, and I'll put you into a prize draw which will be picked later this week. The winner will receive the following:

- Cookies (personally cooked by me)
- A "You're cool" certificate
- Personal DVD message from me to you
- Plus a MYSTERY GIFT

To win all that, simply donate whatever you can, and then send me a quick email to benloka@googlemail.com saying you did! eg. "Hi Ben, I gave £10, aren't I good"

On the topic of competitions, I've been so rubbish at not announcing the winners of the last competition! Fear not, the winners were notified immediately, but I seem to have left a few of you hanging. So here we go... WHAT IS THE GOAL OF LIFE? The supreme winner of all the humorous answers was Craig (verywittyname on youtube) from Brighton in the UK.

He correctly answered. "The Goal of Life does not exist, as there is no Wikipedia article."

Of the more poetic entries, our winner was Leanne (iamleanne on youtube) from West Sussex.

Then a number of runners up prizes (the same prize) went to the following:

Ryan (eshninerforest) from Georgia, USA

Alexandra (M4rple) from Canada

Shiva from Leicestershire, UK

Asal from London, UK

Shruti from Georgia, USA

Kara from San Diego, CA, USA
(well done for guessing the goal of life is Chuck Norris)

Jennifer from Torronto, Canada

All the above won a copy of The Science of Self Realisation AVAILABLE HERE. If you still want to enter please feel free, some more free books may be given out in the future if I can get hold of some. =D

Thankyou SO much to everyone who entered. There were hundreds of entries, and so many amazing answers. One of the criterea for the competition was to keep answers to one sentence only which hardly anyone kept to, but I'm glad because I got to read some really nice e-mails, like this one from Elizabeth, which I'll finish on...

For attractive lips speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes see the good in people.
For a slim figure share your food with the hungry.
For poise walk with the knowledge that you never walk on your own.
People, even more than things have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older you will realise that you have two hands for a reason.
One for helping yourself and one for helping others.

Fun with Google Image Search

2009-05-18T18:51:00.003+01:00

Google image search your answers to the following questions, then click here to summarise yourself in grid-form...

1. What is your name?

2. What is your favourite food?

3. What is your hometown?

4. What is your favourite colour?

5. What is your favourite movie?

6. What is your favourite drink?

7. What is your dream vacation?

8. What is your favourite desert?

9. What is one word to describe yourself?

10. How are you feeling right now?

11. What do you love most in the world

12. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Portugal

2009-05-14T21:29:00.011+01:00

I just got back from the Algarve at the weekend. Those who have seen me this week will have noticed I'm a healthy shade of 'slightly less pale'. I achieved this feat by applying a cocoon of sunscreen and closing my eyes so no sun could get me, phew!

We went for Mandy's Birthday, and her friends Nic and Char came too.

I really do make the best birthday cards ever (she's into High School Musical).

Much of the holiday was spent on the beautiful beach and I caught up on a lot of reading and listened to a bunch of wonderful lectures on my iPod. Of course there's actually no such thing as a holiday when you consider the uncontrolled mind and senses as your greatest enemy, but in a traditional sense... it was a holiday.

Just to catch up on things... some of you may not have seen my appearance as 'The Mighty Leek' in the latest Global Cool campaign. Is it me or doesn't that just make me sound like I have a huge bladder problem

Me and a bunch of other youtube types went out and shot this in London last month. The end product was this professional motion picture. Prepare yourself for some acting of the highest degree.

Following in the footsteps of Jasmine and Johnny, I've been playing around with 'Face of the Future' lately - its so much fun. I've always wondered what I'd look like as an Asian, now I can wonder no more!!

On a totally different note, my friend at work said she was 'getting it on'with her boyfriend the other night, and then I came on the TV (confused.com ad) and apparently totally killed the mood. The fact that I exist in a world where this kind of thing happens - I think is hilarious.

While we're on the subject of getting it on - 'it' of course being the universal pronoun for copulation, I've been reading the teachings of exalted 5-year-old devotee - Prahlada Mahraja recently, and the whole thing is just so wonderful and beaming with truth.

Among other things, he describes that sex life is compared to the rubbing of two hands to relieve an itch. People of this world are convinced that this is the greatest platform of happiness, when actually its the source of distress. Then coincidently I was listening to a lecture by Devamrita Swami who talked about material desire as an itch. We don't stop scratching because we're satisfied, we actually only stop when there's blood. ie. we have to wait till we've made a total mess of things before we can start to look at what we're doing with a sober mind. Understanding the futility of material enjoyment is the only thing that can motivate us towards spiritual life, otherwise we may be here for quite a while. Like Krishna says...

"A person who is not disturbed by the incessant flow of desires - that enter like rivers into the ocean, which is ever being filled but is always still - can alone achieve peace, and not the man who strives to satisfy such desires"

Word.

Confused.com

2009-04-17T22:13:00.005+01:00

As many of you may have noticed... I'm on the new confused.com adverts. People I haven't seen for ages have been texting me united by the phrase "was that you I just saw on TV?" If you've yet to witness this historical pastime, please proceed to the following clip...

It seems that the whole world is selling out this week, not just me and my adoration for car insurance. Youtube are been rumored to be switching their layout over the next few days, which the electronic community is positively freaking out over. The commercialisation of things we cherish is an incessant force that knows no boundaries. We all thought youtube was safe, but a website is no more immune to degredation than our own bodies are to the pangs of old age and death.

Further regrettable happenings came in the form of the new Red Dwarf Episodes this week! I for one have been a die-hard fan of the sci-fi comedy since I was knee-high and playing with lego. No no, I didn't used to be a midget with simple tastes... I'm referring to childhood!

I believe the majority of my own sense of humour was seeded deep within the hours I put into watching that show as a kid. However, the new episodes, in short... sucked! Everybody I spoke to concluded the same, and personally I blame the writer - clearly just after a bit of spare cash and so just put together a few cliche attempts at wit and sold it off to the cheapest bidder. Way to destory a legacy Naylor!

Oh well, in other news, here is an interview I did the other day for Don't Panic Magazine. I've been a bit misquoted with regards to the cow protection and youtube stuff, but you get the general idea.

Number 2

2009-03-27T12:10:00.006Z

So it turns out I'm only the second sexiest vegetarian to walk the streets of Europe. Some guy from Sweden won, think his name was Beethoven or something. Thankyou so much to everyone who voted, and also I'd like to express my sincere gratitude for all your messages of commiseration on twitter (twatitude?). In response to the masses... Yes I was robbed, and yes it probably was a fix (I'm hated by both peta and the swedish government).

If anything, the experience has been a timely reminder of modern society's archaic stance on the topic of compassion to all living entities. Just see how this Invicta FM DJ pontificates the time-honored yet stereotypical view upheld by your typical '80s dad' during my interview with him. "Vegetarian? What you mean some kind of poofta?"

The media's subtle vilification of both me and the vegetarian lifestyle arrived once more in the form of an article in the Kentish Express. They took peta's sexiest vegetarian competition as an opportunity to push free poultry onto an undiscerning audience.

Great Britain, your once magnificent empire has been lost. Your words no longer carry any gravitas, having been reduced to hollow advertising sludgery, and I now question your integrity at every level. Have a nice day.

Watchmen & Twitter

2009-03-08T11:16:00.006Z

So I went to see Watchmen yeterday at the London iMax. Mental. It's like about 10 films in one! I really liked it though. My brother nudged me when we saw the blue man (dr.manhattan) and said "Krishna's buffed up a bit hasn't he". During the film I noticed even more connections between the two, and said to Mandy "he's nicked that bit from the Bhagavad Gita!" She was more concerned with the fact you could see his blue willy throughout the entire film. I got this text from her an hour after the film finished: "Y didn't they show his willy in the scenes where he was massive??" Filth.

Also, I've finally given in now and joined twitter. Goodbye life, its been nice knowing you etc.

The above excerpt is in relation to the latest "Stephen" craze, recently publicised by the Adam & Joe show. The idea is that you have to shout STEPHEN in a public place, and then someone else shouts "Just coming" in response. I tried it, but alas my Stephen fell upon deaf ears =(

Also, laugh out loud, I got sent the following picture this morning. Amazing!

Sexiest Vegetarian

2009-02-27T20:45:00.005Z

So it seems I've been put up for PETA's Sexiest Vegetarian 2009 contest. Nope, I have no idea why either. But if you would like to vote for me, please do so here.

I just want to say THANKYOU so much to Karen for making this video for me. I'm astounded that anyone can be this charming, funny and amazing, but she seems to have done it.

Also, I seem to have accidently waged war against one of the other contestants. Check this link out. I didn't mean to honestly, my video was just observing the fact that all the other contestants are standing on a mountaintop next to a waterfall with their shirt off... and I can't do that, its way too cold in the UK. Plus, I'm not a complete idiot.

Then again...

India

2009-02-26T22:17:00.009Z

I can’t believe I haven’t blogged about India yet. Well I shall now try to absolve that heinous crime and bestow the following words upon you.

So I went to Mayapur in India, and it was absolutely incredible. As a country it is so different to the UK, but in the best ways possible. From the moment I stumbled out the airport with my blatantly white face (oh how the people stared), I was charged at with an onslaught of crafty cab drivers - who I’ve been told see fair skin as a wad of cash personified. Little did they know, I had none.

I had to wait a couple of hours for my pre-ordered taxi to arrive. This was luckily the final stumbling block of the rigmarole journey I’d experienced so far. The chaos had included not being able to get a visa (because I’m a journalist), having to cancel my flight, having to re-book a more expensive flight, getting my car clamped, getting my local MP to shout at the High Commission of India, a 6 ½ hour wait in Dubai, a 24-hour flight journey, my phone not working, and a low iPod battery. But none of these tests meant anything, because I was determined to get to Mayapur and chant Hare Krishna in the Holy Dham. My mind was on this the whole time.

I arrived in Mayapur about midnight, and after grapping with a square mosquito net, decided I would leave it as a rhombus and head to bed. I woke up the next day and it was like entering a dream. Walked out of my bedroom door and saw the amazing view before me, a lotus flower fountain, hundreds of pilgrims a-wandering, beautiful architecture, and SUN! It was snowing when I left the UK, so this was a definite sign I wasn’t there anymore. I had a shower in the shared washroom, then merrily started walking around like I’d just discovered Oz or something.

So I walked past the Govinda’s restaurant and was very happy to see a familiar face – it was Gateen from the manor! Then I walked round another corner and saw another familiar face – it was Saci Kishor from the manor! We were originally supposed to be on the same flight, but well… see above. So I basically spent the rest of that day incredibly happy and chanting lots.

I could easily go on for ages on my experiences during the week, but I’ll try to be as brief as possible because I realise we all have very short attention spans that will flicker at the mere idea of something shiny. Some highlights included seeing the birthplace of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu – the most recent incarnation of Krishna himself! He appeared under a neem tree, of which I tried one of the leaves. We then caught a Rikshaw down to the Jagannath temple and saw a talk by HH Radhannath Swami.

Another day we went on a long trip with some lovely Canadian people (I think their names were Yamuna-Arjuna, Lila and Nitai-Priya) to Ekachakra, the birthplace of Sri Nityananda where the spiritual atmosphere was just incredible. We walked through villages where there were so many cows, and peaceful local folk, and cow-patties on the sides of houses ready to be used for cooking. The way of life there is so simple, and yet the people are so much happier than they are here. So it was a big eye-opener in that respect.

I can’t possibly explain it all here but I think India had a profound effect on me. If only just because I broke my crying record. I haven’t leaked tears for 7 whole years, and yet India made me cry on 3 separate occasions. On my final day when I was in the temple during Mangal Arati. I was looking at Radha-Madgava and started crying, totally overwhelmed with love. I could see I was surrounded by so many pure devotees of Krishna, and all of them completely understand their eternal position. They know the very nature of who they are, and I can’t imagine any better perfection that could be achieved during this human lifetime. I really didn’t want to leave.

On the last day, me and Saci got up early and did some filming on the Gurukule. Went to an amazing lecture on vedic psychology, and then interviewed Bhakti Vidya Purna Swami. The whole last day was inspiring, and we finished off by bathing in the sacred Ganga river, and then talking to Jayadvaita Swami about Valentines Day which you may have seen the video for on my channel.

Oh and one crazy thing I forgot to mention about India – the roads! They’re mental! Everyone drives in zig zags, and there’s random monkeys and elephants and things, just handing out. It makes sense I guess, I mean if I was a monkey I’d pretty much hang out next to a road all day.

OK, I’ve missed loads out, but I’ve written way too much and think it is time to cut my hands off now to stop myself typing any more. Stop it Ben. Now! Stop it. Now. Seriously.

The New Channel

2009-02-17T23:20:00.003Z

Please all observe my new youtubian abode! Yes I'll still be posting videos on my main channel, this is just an outlet for me to post slightly more spiritually inclined videos, without being met by a tyrade of "You suck, make funny vids!" comments from my loyal yet easily aggressed fanbase. I present to you KrishnaLoka108.

So the idea (hopefully) is that people will send in video questions, and any general musings on life in clip form, and we'll try and respond with some wise words of wisdom. Filming will be divided between India and the UK, and possibly America too, see how it goes innit. Oh I have lots to say about India, but I'll save that for another blog.

My dream of Lord Caitanya

2009-01-21T23:26:00.003Z

I received an amazing message from someone the other day, telling me about a dream they'd had about Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu, in which I featured. Its inspired me to talk about my own dream of Lord Caitanya that I had about a month ago while I was staying at the temple.

For those who don't know, Lord Caitanya is the latest incarnation of Krishna, who appeared 500 years ago. In my dream He appeared in a beautiful glowing and golden form. He just said to me one thing... "If you chant the holy names of Krsna, everything you do will be spiritual." I woke up the next morning feeling ecstatic. It was such a clear vision and I went on to have some amazing experiences whilst chanting afterwards. The last few days in fact I haven't been able to stop chanting Hare Krishna. It's like I'm addicted, I can't say it enough. I never used to understand chanting, I thought it was just words, but it makes so much sense now

I'm planning on going to Mayapur in India in about a week. This is the birthplace of Lord Caitanya. I can't wait!

Pari.... not Paris. Pari

2009-01-04T20:49:00.009Z

Hey everyone, I’m back from Paris! You didn’t know I went to Paris. I went to Paris. Actually, even I didn’t know I was going to Paris, for it was a wonderful surprise sprung upon me by Mandy. She organised the whole thing, which was nothing short of amazing.

It was a trip to Disneyland! So new years eve was spent on flying elevators, traversing aerosmith themed rollercoasters, and chanting japa next to Buzz lightyear. Here is a picture of me enjoying said magic kingdom.

I’ve been meaning to blog more, but I haven’t been up to it recently. To be honest, I’ve felt a little bit like I’m going mad. Like actually. Again. The last 3 months I’ve felt so focused, and recently I’ve been a bit chaotic. I feel slightly like I’m living a double life, and with any double life comes a feeling of bewilderment, and you start to wonder if in fact you are just tricking yourself into some kind of happiness or normality. Before I came out the temple, somebody warned me “when you are on the outside you will try to enjoy, but you will find it impossible because you know too much.” I know its somewhat of a Hare Krishna cliché, but Vaisnava philosophy is very much akin to the Matrix scenario of blue pill / red pill. Do you really wanna know, or is ignorance bliss.

I’ve had so many realisations on how no real happiness can be gained through sense enjoyment, and yet here I am, trying to be a ‘normal’ guy outside, but finding it ever-increasingly hard to smile at things and situations that used to bring me some fleeting joy. I went to the temple all of today for the first time since my departure which was wonderful. There was an amazing morning lecture which compared material illusion to the illusion parents create with Santa Claus. They go to so much effort to maintain this fantasy, just to keep their kid happy and enchanted for a few years – presents, stories, elves, grottos, some even pay big money for an authentic trip to Lapland. And yet all this is leading up to is for that dream to be shattered. So no matter how much we’re enjoying this dream-like world, in the end its just gonna be one extraordinary disappointment.

I don’t mean to sound negative, but yes, ultimately all this phantasmagoria – birthdays, trips to the cinema, the new iPod, and your favourite food… this will all ultimately end in old age and death. So there’s gotta be something more right? And we’d be fools not to search for it right?! Ok, so maybe I’m not completely mad.

On a lighter note, check out my bad self on Krishna.com. I’m the one in the box.

Radhanath Swami

2008-12-28T12:24:00.003Z

Here you go! The entire Radhannath Swami lecture filmed on my camera at Bhaktivedanta Manor on 5 October 2008.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Back from the temple

2008-12-26T12:09:00.007Z

OK, so I'm back from the temple! Gosh its weird I tell you. In the space of a couple of days I've gone from regulated simple living to running around Bluewater shopping centre looking for a Christmas bargain. The consciousness adjustment has caused me to develop a retail-themed headache and I'm not so well at the moment.

I seem to have had quite a few e-mails asking me how it was, so I hope to answer you all in the following sentence.... It was really good! I love temple life, I feel I'm really suited to it. On the one hand I found it hard to give up my freedom (on the outside I like to roam around in the fields and sit by the sea, pretend I'm Jesus etc...), but on the other hand, the temple is a place where I can concentrate on what makes me happy... Krishna Consciousness. Thinking of Krishna, reading and talking about Krishna, eating food offered to Krishna. My life was distinctly lacking in all these things before. If I start talking about philosophy out here then people generally give me a hard time and I feel kinda stifled, but in the temple thats ALL you talk about. All these things and the association of great devotees made it a wonderful 3 months.

It was me and another guy called Charlie on the Bhakta Course. We had classes 4 days a week, and various services including cleaning, working in the kitchen, fieldwork etc. 'Devotional service' they call it, which is basically doing ordinary menial tasks, but changing one's consciousness to actually feel joy from doing it. You perform it in loving service to Krishna, much in the way that a guy will work hard all day and spend the money on his girlfriend, its an act of love. Most material relationships however are based on one premise" "If you do something that pleases me... then I'll love you." This isn't real love, its exploitation.

One reason I feared coming out of the temple is that I'd be associating with girls again. I've barely talked to one in the last few months, and as funny as that sounds its actually been extremely beneficial to my state of mind. I felt so much more at peace while I was away. Misogyny aside, its apparent that pretty much all stress or anxiety I go through is directly caused by women in my life, and the fact that I can't deal with them. There can be exceptions, but generally they are too emotional, which means they'll constantly take offense at everything, and as a result I can never totally be myself because I'm always watching what I say. When I'm around guys however, you can generally let go a bit more because you know the other person won't run off and start crying. Many have said that men are the spiritual seekers, and women are more into material things (if you don't believe me go to your local shopping centre), and the two don't go together. Physically there is attraction, but mentally there is frustration.. most of the time, not all the time.

There were an abundance of great moments over the 3 months, I'll be posting a video soon to explain a bit more. A genuine spiritual experience I had came when outside one day doing the bins. I emptied one bin and found a worm, squirming around, curled right at the bottom of the binbag. Seeing this I began thinking of how this particular soul had reached one of the darkest regions of material existence, and felt genuine compassion for it. I started singing the Hare Krishna mantra to him, and prayed that in the same way, the devotees at the temple would take mercy on me, an equally low form of life, wriggling and squirming my way through my human existance. Moments later they did... I won't say how, but I'll just say that whole day was pretty amazing, and I wish I could hold on to that humble mindset constantly.

Supernatural Happenings

2008-12-02T14:48:00.005Z

I've been meaning to update this more while being at the temple but there's not been time. Sorry guys, you have permission to punch me in the shin. Anyway, moving on from that, I thought I'd talk about a freaky experience that happened this morning.

Myself and Charlie (one of the two guys I'm currently sharing a room with) both got up at 3am this morning like we do every day. As we were in the bathroom at the communal sinks Charlie started talking about how he saw a ghost last night (at 1am) rustling around in his laundry bag (It's common knowledge here at the temple that the subtle bodies of ghosts are attracted to dirt, hence why monks are meticulously clean). I refused to believe him and said it was probably a mouse or something. He said "no it was definitely there" and when I disagreed again, my toiletries started moving around! I got this chilly feeling move through my body.... I stopped talking and put my stuff back where it was before, and then the same thing happened again!! I was like "dude did you see that!" and he was like "I told you".

I then started assuming the voice of a medium at a seance: "Ghost! If you can here me, move my can of Gillette shaving gel on the count of 3..... 1 - 2 - 3! But nothing happened after that. So I just chanted Hare Krishna and went on with my day. Pretty scary though huh.

All this talk of the undead has reminded me. I made a few little appearances in the Bryony Makes a Zombie Movie documentary on BBC3 the other week. You can watch it here: part1 - part2 - part3

I went to the film premier in London at the end of October which was real cool. It's one of the few times I've been out the temple in the last few months. There were all these people having drinks, and wearing jeans and talking about things, and I felt all disorientated. But the film looked very cool indeed!

1st blog from the temple

2008-11-18T12:01:00.008Z

Hare Krishna all. Ben here, you know, that guy who used to make videos. No? The British guy. No? I fostered your children for 7 months. No? Ok, well, anyway, I’m back.

Having arisen from the internet dead, I come with a somewhat jaded entourage of lonelygirl15, the dancing hamster, and Tom from Myspace… and this time, we mean business. Well, not really, just thought it was about time I let you all know what’s going on.

My situation is thus. I’ve been living in the Hare Krishna temple for about a month and a half now, experiencing the austere life of a vedic monk (a monk that’s allowed internet access and unlimited supplies of cake). I’m wearing a dhoti, tulasi beads, plus tikak on my head and body, so externally I’m pretty convincing as some kind of spiritual authority. Someone even asked me for directions the other day. Not in the sense of spiritual guidance, but more they just wanted to know where the car park was. I’ve not had a chance to take any myspace-style self-proclaimed vanity shots on the camera auto-timer yet (for some reason its frowned upon in a place like this), but if you would like to see some photo evidence, here’s one kindly sent to me by Yeo who came up for Diwali the other week.

There are a lot of festivals here. Check out this one, we witnessed the burning of the demon Ravana. (It’s ok to burn demons, they deserve it).

We also go out on Harinam every Saturday. Once during the day at a random town, and then often in the evening through central London (Leicester Square, Piccadilly Circus etc). Here is a picture of the one we did the other day.

Time has flown, and so much has gone on here since I joined that it would be impossible to mention it all. I love the morning programme, the association of pure-hearted devotees 24/7, and the many inspirational classes I’ve been to. At the moment I’m reading a section of Srimad Bhagavatam that contains a description of the material creation and includes star charts for the entire universe. The Heavenly and Hellish planets, the nature of stars, and the invisible planet Rahu between the earth and the moon – its blowing my little pea-brain head of its shoulders. There’s so much we don’t know. And by we I mean me.

Anyhoo, I'll be back making videos soon, but in the meantime I'm working on this project to help save cows. . . EVERYWHERE !

THE FOLLOWING IS A DESPERATE PLEA FOR CHARITY:

Cows are very important, and I don' t liked to see them get killed, and neither should you. The thing is. . . Some people, like me, who are vegetarian , drink milk, but feel a bit hypocritical because it often comes from slaughtered cows. Therefore its still supporting the meat industry in a way. This thing I'm helping out on "Ahimsa", is trying to change where our milk comes from, and at the moment we' re trying to get people to support organic milk, and we've got a petit ion to make STOP the sale of non-organic milk in supermarke ts.

This is the first step. The next is to make milk completely cruelty free.

So perrrrrleeaze help me out and do the following:

Add Ahims a as your friend on MySpace. (They' re No.1 on my top friends) or go to www.myspace.com/happyhealthycows

Join the facebook group :
www.facebook.com/group.php?gid= 40685205814&ref=mf

Then sign the petition:
www.thelotustrust.org/petition.php

And for every person who does this I will give them a lollypop*

THANKS GUYS!

*lollypop given may be of the imagination

One day to go...

2008-09-29T23:27:00.006+01:00

Hey! So the wise among you may already know about me moving to a Hare Krishna temple on Wednesday. For those of you who don't know... I am! I've arranged to stay there up until December, not sure what date I'll be back exactly but it'll be before Christmas - I know this much. I'm doing something called a "Bhakta Programme", which means I'll be learning all about the Vedic lifestyle and its inherent wisdom. I'm staying at Bhavtivedanta Manor in Watford, around the north London area. Tis a very nice place and it has a wonderful spiritual atmosphere, so I'm hoping to make some advancement from the egotistical, materialistic, self-obsessed meglomaniac twerp I currently reside as.

This move was only decided last Sunday. Then on Friday I left my job (as writer for a magazine) and started to get things ready for going away. This week has been fun-packed with activities galore... seeing tropic thunder, playing laser tag at the O2 with Mandy, going to Chessington World of Adventures on Saturday, and hanging out in Camden with Sohaib, Shray & Shiv on Sunday. So there's been no time to get my head around the idea that I'm actually going. So now I have one day to sort everything out!! Today I cancelled my gym membership, called India to sort out some stuff with my bank, tried to get my car in for an MOT, bought an 8-pack of razors and put up a video on youtube informing everyone of my departure.

So where does this leave the whole youtube thing? No doubt I'll fall behind during the few months I'm away (internet time moves 5 times faster than real-life time), but I have some pre-recorded videos I can put up to fill in the gap perhaps. Also, I should be able to film some stuff while I'm away (if it doesn't get in the way of the course). Another issue of the day is Bryony's Internet Zombie Movie. Quite wonderfully I've been put up in the running for the role of Ben. This was exciting to hear as I really wanted to be a part of the movie. A few people asked me to audition so I did, although admittedly I did it in a rush on the way out to see Batman at the cinema. But I thought what the hey! It's now up to the forum to decide who gets the part. I'm not a big forum fan as I think they tend to bring the worst out in people - a lot of venting happens, people use big words, wars start. It's funny, because I seem to have connections with a few of the other shortlisted actors... I hung out with yellowfluff last time she was in the UK, and frankielovestoday lives about 15 minutes away from me, haha. Anyway, I'm going away, could maybe still do some stuff if they let me, but I have no idea what's happening with it so for now I'll have to continue with the whole life thing I'm living at the moment.

Anyway, there are some points I was going to make. First of all, I'm not sure how much internet access I will have, so communication may be down for a while. But probably the best line to get me on is benloka@googlemail.com. Other than that, just letting you know that I will be staying at Bhaktivedanta Manor, Dharam Marg, Hilfield lane Aldenham, Near Watford, Herts, WD25 8EZ. Look out for me, I'll be the one chanting Hare Krishna =)

Brighton Ratha Yatra

2008-09-18T18:34:00.005+01:00

I love Brighton! Like seriously. There seems to be a totally different atmosphere there than to the rest of the UK. Maybe it's the sea. But I'm sure there must be sea in other places! I'm sure of it. Anyway, this weekend was brilliant, I went to down for the Ratha Yatra along the seafront. See if you can spot me in this video (I'm sitting on the step).

I'm still surprised by the number of devotees who watch my videos, getting recognised etc. It means there are a lot more people I can talk to who I wouldn't have met otherwise - which is really great! Everyone down there is way cool, and I hope to see you all again soon =)

Italy

2008-09-02T19:01:00.014+01:00

Ok so first of all I must apologise for my incessant lack of communication of late. I have a backlog of messages and people asking me things that is so vast, I’ve started gazing at them the way you would a ‘magic eye’ picture, all distant and half focused, and after a while I saw a polar bear driving a car! Oh that’s not it? Ok, I’ll try again.

I would like to dedicate this blog to the fact I went to Italy recently. Here are some photos of myself and Mandy enjoying this pizza-tinged utopia.

We had a really great time! I’ve made a video about it so hopefully I’ll put that up soon.

We caught flight 8.15, and if you know how much I love the TV series ‘LOST’, you’ll understand how excited I was.

At the Hare Krishna Village in Milan...

While we were flying in the aeroplane, I finished the 4th Canto of the Srimad Bhagavatam and began the 5th Canto. I thought it was really fitting, seeing as these books are meant for elevating consciousness, that I would open a brand new Canto whilst looking down upon the clouds.

It is at this point that I must clearly state a fact.

THE INBETWEENERS IS THE BEST COMEDY SHOW SINCE FOREVER. I urge you to buy the DVD immediately, especially if you live in Britain and love stuff like Peep Show or The Office. It becomes an addiction, much akin family guy where one episode is never quite enough. You need more! More laughter! More!

Me and Rasa are back in contact again. We had a bit of a falling out, well I thought so. But then it turns out he’s been locked away in a mental institute for the last 2 months and has only just been allowed contact. We’re planning on doing another video together and hanging out when he’s let loose in a few weeks, haha.

On my way to the Krishna temple in Soho Street the other day, I met up with Michelle from youtube and her friend. She was over from America and said I turned her into a Vegan and changed her life! I’ve had a few e-mails from people saying this kinda thing, but to hear it in real life was so surreal, and cool. Behold the power of video!

On the subject of e-mails… After I posted my last video Rhetorical Answers (the one where I smacked my own ass and shouted ‘who’s your daddy!’), I got a surprising e-mail sent to my benloka googlemail account. It was from my dad! I didn’t even know he watched my videos! He lives in Sweden and I haven’t seen him for quite a while. It said.

SUBJECT: Complaint

Dear BenLoka

I am writing to complain about one of your videos.

You portrayed your father as looking exactly like you , when in fact he is much better looking as I know him very well seeing as we meet in the bathroom every morning.

Still, you have managed to make me laugh really a lot so all is forgiven.

take care

Anonymous father impersonat or from Gothenburg

So I replied:

SUBJECT: Re:Complaint

Dear viewer,

Here at BenLoka we take all feedback very seriously, and a full investigation will be carried out.

Needless to say the person responsible has been fired and the actor playing 'ben' has been banned from all impersonations for 18 months.

A £5 Marks & Spencer Voucher is on its way in the post for compensatory action.

Best wishes!

BenLoka HQ

Manga Me

2008-08-12T21:57:00.010+01:00

I so very much love the picture Fabiana did of me 'on the couch' style! She is an extremely talented one, sooo cool! =)

BBC Blast

2008-08-11T23:10:00.006+01:00

Look! I'm on BBC Blast. There's a write-up and an exclusive episode of "On the Couch with Benloka" (for Kent residents only!) that I filmed the other day.

It was so nice to see Johnny and Bryony say nice things about me, especially since they were two of the first people I started watching on youtube (as you may gather from my subscription order!). I heart those guys, they pretty much rule. And thanks so much to Frankie for writing such a nice story!!

To see the whole thing go to www.bbc.co.uk/kent/blast

Wonderful week off!

2008-08-10T12:44:00.007+01:00

A really cool week is what I've had. Was lucky enough to stay at Bhaktivedanta Manor from Saturday to Wednesday, which calmed me down a lot. Usually I have about a billion thoughts and ideas passing through my brain every second, which is great when you need to be creative, but not when you're trying to live your life and not go insane. Having stayed there my mind regained its stillness, and every pause in my thoughts was filled with the Hare Krishna mantra.

On Saturday there was a fantastic Sankirtan in the evening led by Lokanath Swami, where the crowd went all around London, into tube stations, circulated picadili circus, with people doing backflips and all sorts! Sunday I got to see the amazing Devamrita Swami speak at the Soho Street Temple. After lots of chanting and dancing I came out sweating and took a refreshing walk in the rain, and then went for another great kirtan at the Manor. The rest of the week I really enjoyed the morning programs, seeing the cows and just being around such saintly people.

In fact a part of me feels really bad for being there, subjecting everyone to my demoniac nature, impeding their spiritual progress with my doubtful and uncontrolled mind. Vedic philosphy has given clarity and superior perspective to all my inquiries regarding the universe, time, space, the soul, and the spiritual world. The problem is, I have this one incessant question that my mind insists on asking, and nobody has yet been able to answer me. I feel bad whenever I ask it, because I can see the effect it has on people, it fills them with doubt and confusion, just like it does to me. The question is:

"If we are originally from the spiritual world and situated in full knowledge, how is it that we desired to come to this material world? Surely we would know the pain involved in material life?

Spiritualists criticise the materialists who wander the universe, going from birth to birth, transmigrating up and down the hierarchy of temporary material forms, and instead prefer to spend their lifetime attempting to liberate themselves from the bondage of material attachment. However, if it is possible to fall here from the spiritual world, then surely this yo-yo effect is never ending... so what is the point?

How are we any better off? The pitfalls of material life (fear, death & disease) are compensated by its attractiveness (sex, enjoyment & hedonism), and the penances of spiritual life (regulation & austerity) are overcome by its rewards (detachment and liberation). People say the material path is temporary because at the end each life we are destined to die and forget, but if forgetfulness can happen on the spiritual plane, then how is this any different?"

In case you haven't guessed by now, I'm playing devils advocate. I of course know that spiritual life is light-years ahead of materialism in terms of bliss. But still I need to ask the above question. Devotees always say that "the mind can be your greatest enemy", but to me this often translates as "you're not allowed to think for yourself". Many of us have realised the material path is futile and ridiculous through a process of thinking and analysis, so why aren't we allowed to put the spiritual path under the microscope. Why can't we question?

I asked my question to Devamrita Swami at his question and answers session on Sunday. His first answer was that Krishna doesn't want forced love, but it didn't answer my question. I'm sure it was the right answer - because Devamrita Swami is the one speaker that has always managed to cleanse my mind from doubt in his talks - but still I didn't understand, so I asked again... still the question could not be directly answered, and so someone else from across the room asked the same question. This was a tense moment as I knew I'd now managed to fill the room with doubt. He answered again, but this time gave a different answer. He said that we don't have "full knowledge" in the spiritual world. We just know what Krishna wants us to know. Our journey through the material world, through the 8'400'000 species of life, is simply another way to express out love for Krishna.

He answered this question better than the many many people I've asked before. It gave me a whole new perspective.

Srila Prabhupada once said it is ok to question when it is with the intent to learn. That's the only reason I keep asking it - because I want someone to clear my doubt, not because I want to critisise or make anyone look a fool. The next day, my mind was all over the place, back and forth, asking the question again and again, considering every possible answer, and I felt like I was going crazy. The only thing that helped was reading the Bhagavatam solidly for an hour or so. I came across some incredible lines with regards to dreams/dreaming:

(4th canto p.346)

"In dreams we sometimes see things that we have never experienced in the present body. Sometimes in dreams we think we are flying in the sky, although we have no experience of flying. This means that once in a previous life, either as a demigod or an astronaut, we flew in the sky. The impression is there in the stockpile of the mind, and it suddenly expresses itself."

(4th canto p.357)

"People deny the existence of the soul, but it is a fact that when we sleep we forget the identity of the material body and when we awake we forget the subtle body. In other words, while sleeping we forget the activities of the gross body, and when active in the gross body we forget the activities of sleeping."

(4th canto p.359)

"When the living entity dreams, the sense objects are not actually present. However, because one has associated with the sense objects, they become manifest. Similarly. the living entity with undeveloped senses does not cease to exist materially, even though he may not be exactly in contact with the sense objects."

OK I'VE DONE OFF ON A TANGENT.... BIG TIME!!!! WHERE WAS I, OH YES....

.... I was talking about my week! Well on Thursday I paid a visit to the PETA UK office in London, they have a blog don't you know! Check it out here.

On Friday I got invited by Franny to attend the 24-hour kirtan at isckonbrighton. They have such a wonderful place there, really nice atmosphere going on. Me and Mandy went down and took Roschan and Ria (Mandy's neice and nephew - tiny people) for a day out in Brighton. I would have happily stayed and chanted for the rest of the day, but we had to go and find a playground for the kids and get them back on time. It would have been nice to talk to all the peeps there too as they seemed lovely, but I'll go another weekend for sure. The rest of the day was brilliant too, we all went on the carousel, sat by the sea, did lots of dancing and finished it off with a nice vegetarian meal and a shakeaway!

Ok I can't feel my fingers anymore, which is either a sign that I should stop, or that my drink as been spiked. I think its probably the first one.

The Dark Knight - Greatest film ever made?

2008-07-31T23:55:00.007+01:00

Well that's what everyone is saying. After seeing it at the imax this weekend its hard disagree too much - I'd definitely put it in my top 5. Plus it's the only movie I've ever seen where everyone in the audience stood up and applauded at the end... or maybe that's just what people do in the imax? I have no idea, I've never been there before! Seriously though, I loved this film, it had absolutely everything you could want, and after seeing this and 300 in the same week, my ever-dwindling love of modern film has once again been restored!

I just went out for a jog in the rain. It started pouring about 30 seconds after I left the front door, and my stubborn inner voice took charge to say "no. I'm changed into my tracksuit bottoms now, we're going to do this anyway". So I started to run, and the further I travelled, the more the rain turned into a storm. Eventually I found a dry area. I looked up, then down, then up again, and thought "Hey! Oh yea! ...Trees. Trees are for shelter! That's what they're for!" Under the tree I looked out, soaked but dry, into what looked like the scene from a movie, and pondered how over-protected and ikea-degraded our puny human race has become. Ok, a viewing of Fight Club may now be in order.

Running through the rain is actually really fun. It's one of those things that once you get past the fact you're dancing through a tirade of evaporated children's wee*, you realise you're actually pretty free and the world is beautiful.

[*I mean evaporated wee from a child, not the wee of an evaporated child, heaven forbid!]

Package of Mystery

2008-07-21T20:30:00.009+01:00

So yea! I got one of those mystery package things from the infamous youtube stalker! At first I thought it was just johnny (durham19), Dave (from blue skies) and NSG who had received one... but Charlie (issocoollike) just left me a comment saying he has one, and I just talked to NSG on the blower and it turns out that Myles, Mhazz, and I think Alex has one too. It's so spooky! Somehow these people have found our whereabouts - through gigs, organisations we go to... or in some cases, our home address. I'm intregued to find out what it is all about! For those who haven't seen my video on this, they sent me a microphone, and I recorded a song. I've uploaded it to youtube, but the sound is a bit rubbish on there, so if you wanna hear a higher quality version of my rubbish song, then click here!

In other news, here is 2 pictures of me as a Zombie...

And oh my gosh, I'm in another Bryony episode! Yay!

ZOMG

2008-07-16T21:36:00.004+01:00

In case you hadn't guessed, my latest video is footage from the London Zombie Walk/Internet Zombie Movie shoot in London on Saturday. To see it at a much better angle, check zis out!...

And also, I'm on Bryony's BBC documentary thingy! yay! Even though I look like a spazz at the beginning, it was still a lot of fun! It's on www.bbc.co.uk/zombies or see below =)

Fast food

2008-07-14T07:16:00.003+01:00

This morning I learnt the true meaning of break-fast. I've not had any food for the last 30 hours. I've been fasting for Sayana Ekadasi, just survived off a few glasses of water. I've never fasted before because I've never really understood what it's about. However now I kinda get that it's about controlling the senses (for a reason) ... because usually they control us. Even the most intelligent and wise soul can be reduced to the actions of a madman through his desire to satisfy his senses. We're constantly trying to seek some kind of pleasure through the 9 holes in our body, and while this is happening, all rational thought goes out the window. So I thought I'd give it a try. I know some people eat fruit during Ekadasi and just stay away from grains and beans, but I thought I'd go for full-on anorexia. This morning at 5am I was so glad to eat again, I made sweet rice out of white-rice, milk and sugar, and had a bunch of fruit with it. Mazing!!

My policy on facebook

2008-07-13T21:47:00.003+01:00

Hi everyone. Hope you're having a nice weekend. I just want to make a brief note here on the subject of facebook. Now... I love a nerimon as much as the next guy, but I'm going to have to blame that boy for the sudden influx of random strangers that keep adding me in the name of youtube. The thing is, I only use the aforementioned facebook to keep in contact with close friends and family, and I don't want my contacts list saturated with a list of unfamiliars. There is a simple rule you must follow - if you've met me in real life and we've shared an interesting conversation or two, then add me! if not, then myspace is the place for you.

I subscribe to the view that everyone we meet in this life was known to us in a former life (hence meeting them for a reason) - when we fall to earth we carry with us our cosmic entourage and as we get older, further members of this group become revealed. That person you felt a connection for at the bus stop was probably your cat... or your mum! Anyway, my point is, if we haven't met, then you don't come under this category (yet) and so I just can't add you. This is hard, because there are a handful of people on youtube whom I have a real connection with and feel like I know already. But I have to keep the same rule for everyone, or else there will be complaints. Hope this is ok. Please don't hate me if I don't accept you. I will buy you a lollypop.

Alive

2008-07-07T19:49:00.014+01:00

Hi everyone! I'm still alive! Look here is proof (see fake-smile below). Oh no hold on, that picture could have been taken ages ago - I've proven nothing!

The other day was really cool because I got to go and help out Bryony (of lilies) do a bit of her documentary for the Zombie Movie. Went to Chris's house (thewirrow), and we all sat on the couch and mocked zombie flicks whilst being filmed. It was really fun, and I stayed the rest of the day too for a bbq and epic home-made garden-based obstacle course. Alan (superjitan) came too, and it was really swell seeing all those guys in the real life finally! They are all awesome as I suspected.

What else have I been doing... um, oh yea! I went to Brighton with Mandy and had a superexcellent time. I'm going there again soon, I'd pretty much live there if it wasn't for the lack of house. I also went to that Ratha Yatra festival in London which was really cool, and I got recognised about a gazillion times. And by that I mean 6 times. One American lady that served me at a stall that day said "are you that guy off the internet who makes funny videos?" and I thought to myself 'yes, I suppose I am!'.

I've started going to a Bhagavad Gita class/group at Canary Wharf on Thursday's. It's really nice to have regular Krishna-contact and be around people who share a similar interest. Talking about the cosmic manifestation and transcendental higher planes is so much more interesting than going down the pub.

AND!! Oh my gosh. I've only just noticed this, but Bill & Ted's Excellent adventure.... TOTAL rip off of Doctor Who! Two guys traveling through time in a telephone box! Has nobody every made this blatant connection before, and if so, why has nobody been sued yet?!

I miss buddy movies.

NER*D were amazing yo

2008-06-16T20:50:00.006+01:00

I've loved this band for yearssss. I think Pharell is a complete legend, and I got to see just why at Brixton Academy the other day. Shray, Sohaib & Shiv did a meal with me for my birthday (not till thursday) and then we all went to see Pharrell and crew, and also 'The Script'. Haven't been to such a high-energy gig for quite a while, the crowd were actually going mental, and the stuff off the new album sounds awesome!

I like Pharell a lot because he's one of those artists (like Jimi Hendrix) who could succeed in any genre he chose, be it rock, rap, jungle, or music that goes da-da-di-di-di-di-di, which evidently is what he does.

I would also like to take note of this exciting drink I had today. I liked it because:

a) it's crazy

b) it now taste's NICE (according to the packaging)

Foos, Fire and Flying

2008-06-09T22:42:00.009+01:00

What a super weekend I had, I'm gonna have to write about it. Kicked off with a free ticket to go and see Foo Fighters and Wembley Stadium. I loved it, and my favourite bit was when they played the Nirvana song Marigold, a) because this was the first song I'd heard Dave Grohl sing on, and was convinced he could have his own band at the time b) because I was obsessed with Nirvana throughout my entire childhood. Like really. I wrote it on my bag and eeeverything.

Did I mention the ticket was free, AND we got to sit in a private box (thanks Tabreez!). Here is a clip from after the show, on what I have now discovered is a very very funny channel based around the idea of standing. www.youtube.com/YouWalkLikeAPeasant

Then on Saturday I went to Bhaktivedanta Manor to stay until Sunday. There was an "under 25's" day kinda thing going on, which was amazing because we got to hear a talk from Jayadvaita Swami in the personal room of Srila Prabhupada. He is a very articulate speaker and had some amazing things to say. Like he talked about how people misuse their intelligence, and spend their entire life devoted to say "the use of a glottal stop in Australian English", write books and papers, and more books about it. And that is their whole life. There's no bigger picture. And I got thinking afterwards that most people do actually dedicate their lives to some mundane practice that has no real significance after the point of death.

In the evening, after dinner, we went out into one of the fields and it had been set up really nice. There was a campfire, lots of candles, chairs and mats on the floor, and some instruments laid out for the musicians. Then there was singing and dancing until later in the evening when it was dark, It was such a nice evening singing by the fire, I wish I could have done it for longer!

The next morning was the Snana Yatra festival, full of colour and people dancing. I'd gotten up at 3:30am in the morning and went to the morning program which is my favourite bit about staying at the manor. It's just pure devotion, before the 108 battles of the mind begin to take over.

OK! Next I wanna just write down this dream I had last night because it was INCREDIBLE! It was inspired, lucid, and positively hallucinogenic in nature. I think I've mentioned before in my blog that I have the reoccuring dream that I am flying, or to be more specific - levitating. Well I usually get to a certain point in the sky, and then get scared and find a away to get down again. This has been happening to me for years. Then all of a sudden last night, I dreamt that I transcended my fear. I was floating upwards into the sky like a helium balloon, and on my journey upward I approached the clouds that often induced me with fear. I experienced the full terror of uncertainty head on and kept going, making no attempt to air-swim back to the familiar ground once more, or burp myself some gravity (circa Willy Wonka's bubbleworks). Once I passed this point I felt liberated, and all of a sudden I was in another world, one that existed above the clouds. There was a whole race of people living there. They could all levitate and had the same power as me. I was no longer special, I just realised this was the next level of consciousness, and it was time for me to leave the planet below and move on. Even while I was dreaming I knew this whole scene was my minds replica of the book Jonathan Livingston's Seagull that Mandy bought me. A tale of spiritual enlightenment and progress of the mind. I woke up from my sleep ecctatic like I've never known before in this lifetime. And then today I read Srimad Bhagavatam and came across this picture. It is exactly what my dream had looked like.

benloka.com

2008-06-03T21:09:00.004+01:00

It exists! That's right, I have a website. It dazzles, it excites! OK, it's not finished or 'officially launched' yet, but I want you guys to have a preview. I set it up mainly because I wanted somewhere to put all my music and make it available for download (as people keep asking). Also I wanted to make some kind of FAQ page, because it's at the point now where if I answer every e-mail and comment I get, my life would literally just be admin. It's lovely to hear from people, but I think there are some questions/answers that can be put all in one place so that people need not waste an email. (They're expensive these days you know!) So anyway, I've made the website, and in actuality forgot about BOTH those things, and just became entranced by the idea of making it look pretty AND NOTHING ELSE!! But those things will be on there at some point. Honest!

RasaLoka

2008-05-26T22:21:00.013+01:00

Hello there lexicon fans! It's been a while hasn't it, probably time we caught up. Well first of all I'd like to say THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU to allllllll the amazing people who gave up meat for World Vegetarian week. Many Youtubers I much admire and respect, like musicfromblueskies, blade376, charlieissocoollike and countless others have all said they'd give it a go, and I'm sure it just snowballed. This has to be one of my most responded to videos ever. I went away for a day after posting it, got back, and there were literally thousands of messages, comments, responses in my inbox. Most of these were people saying they saw the Earthlings film, it has opened their eyes, and they will never eat meat again. Hooray!

The next part of the plan involved my new friend Rasa who I'd spoken to a bit on youtube, and met properly last weekend. We hit it off immediately and he came and stayed round my house for a few days.

We hung out in Brighton all of Sunday, and he stayed through to Tuesday. During this time we recorded a whole 3 hours of footage on my camera, including a trip around Brighton, a video on Karma, a 4-part vegetarian cooking lesson, and a mock on-the-couch episode. Our main goal was to turn as many people vegetarian as possible. We were going to do a video asking all meat-eaters to unsubscribe, but felt that was too harsh. I want to be a tolerant person, its not something I want to shove down people's necks. So anyway, Rasa has been working non-stop for the last 2 weeks, having only 2 hours sleep a night, and has made over 100 revolutionary videos. I've seen some and they're more 'in yer face' than a mask. Genius.

I was a fan of his last channel "vedicsastra", but he's now taken all the videos down (due to constant hater comments). His new channel "SincerityLeads2Truth" was supposed to have a bunch of his videos on to coincide with the ones on my page. Unfortunately though, he's found himself on the run this week from the police, and the mental health authorities who were trying to section him. He has Bi-Polar, but after an emergency check yesterday its confirmed that he's fine... he just thinks really really fast. So anyway, because of all this and a bunch of other dramas, no videos are on there yet. But soon I've been told.

While he was down I tried to make him come out to these places near where I live, perfect for meditation and calming yourself down. He was working far to hard on the laptop to come, but look what you missed out on man!! (my amazing photography... observe!)

After talking with Rasa (who is a Hare Krishna in case you haven't noticed) I've come to realise that there are different divisions within the Hare Krishna movement that I was never aware of. It's seems to be the case of ISKCON vs. Gaudiya Math. Both sides are trying to be Krishna conscious, but lately I've found myself amidst some sort of petty spiritual war. I've always associated with ISKCON devotees, but Rasa is from Gaudiya Math. He tells me ISKCON is corrupt, and there are bogus gurus etc. and ISKCON devotees say the same back. To all this I say... "just leave me alone!" I didn't get into all this for ridiculous politics. I got into the movement to ease my troubled mind, to get some sort of perspective on life and the universe... not to squabble. You can't call a whole organisation 'corrupt'. It's like people who blame 'the government' for everything. The government isn't one person. Its a mix of lots of people, some kind hearted, some not so much.

Anything else? Oh yea, I went to the party as Edward Scissorhands.

Schmoozing

2008-05-07T18:43:00.004+01:00

I went to an exciting BBC3 thing last night with Bryony (paperlilies) who was kind enough to let me come along. (Even though we're like real-life friends now I still feel the need to refer to her youtube username. why is this? people don't realise when you sign up that you've been branded for life.)

The room had lots of ambient fluorescent lighting, food being offered around on trays, and drinks on tap... which for me meant water on tap. You might sneer, but if you were someone from a 3rd world country you'd think I was well cool. There were also lots of 3 dimensional versions of the BBC Three logo dispersed around the venue. Here's an example if you're not familiar with such a thing.

One of the first people we saw when we went in was James Corden from Gavin & Stacey - I LOVE that show so much. It's the first decent comedy I've seem on TV for years. There were lots of important people there and I thought I really shouldn't be there. But then they played a montage of all their shows (which included Upstaged) and I suddenly remembered "Oh yea... I was on BBCthree!" So I was ok after that. But wooo, twas really fun =)

I likes to read

2008-05-05T21:32:00.010+01:00

At the risk of sounding like your average weather-obsessed small-talker... I'm really happy now the sun is out!! I very much like reading, and I've been doing a lot of it lately on location, so a clear sky often helps with this.

Here is where I go to read on my lunch break

Here is some Saturday night reading I did next to Brighton pier

Krishna Kartoon

2008-04-21T20:51:00.005+01:00

Here is a picture I drew yesterday...

It's for Wirrow's film project to make a radiohead video using 1000's of frames put together by people on youtube. Click here to see how you can get involved.

This is how it looks so far =)

Too good not to write down

2008-04-20T14:30:00.010+01:00

Conversation between me and my mum this morning:

Mum: So how was your chinese meal last night?

Me: It was ok, but it kinda sucked that there was a set menu, and there was hardly anything vegetarian on there that I could eat.

Mum: And you still had to pay the price for the whole set menu?

Me: Yea

Mum: Oh well. You win some, you lose some

Me: You dim sum

On my morning walk today I came across this tree that looked like a Tim Burton tree. ie. Twirly and stuff.

No Croissants Allowed

2008-04-18T06:59:00.006+01:00

This makes me so happy...

and I love Alex for sending it to me. When we were all on Upstaged and staying in the hotel, this was displayed in the breakfast room. Myself and a few others took it to mean that the hotel have had some nasty experiences with French bread and as a consequence have found it necessary to introduce a ban. The sign was placed on top of a heater thing, but that's besides the point!

On a completely different note, I can't believe Mark Speight is dead - he reportedly hung himself next to Paddington station. It's really strange because he directed me when I was on kids TV (when I was a kid). I remember him being a really nice guy, and its so harsh how people's lives turn out sometimes. I think the world has gone crazy.

London Gathering & Staying at the Temple

2008-04-14T19:52:00.008+01:00

This weekend was quite eventful I must say! I was in two very different situations that just happened to happen right next to eachother. But most importantly - look! It's april and I've finally bought myself a calendar!

So first off... I went to the YouTube London Gathering (It was named Nerifest in celebration of Alex's birthday). I've just seen myself in a video, so here is a blurred picture for you all to enjoy. As you can see, it was so good I tried choking myself from behind.

I attempted to buy Alex a cake from M&S beforehand but the queue was five hours long, and I was running late anyway, so Alex if you ever read this, my gift to you was timeliness! Anyhoo, I got to Leicester Square station and a bunch of the lovely youstage people were there. It feels like we're a gang. A gang united by nicking £10'000 off the BBC. We all walked in together and everyone in the crowd awaiting us sang happy birthday to alex which was really nice! =)

I got to see a bunch of familiar faces which was nice, people I met at the last gathering and a couple of cool new ones. It's really funny, because I still can't get over the fact that people are coming up and asking me to sign stuff, or wanting to have their picture taken with me. I had the realisation that YouTube is this community which has created it's own world, that suddenly makes the idea of fame attainable. In the real world fame is a distant out-of-reach concept, impossible to achieve and even harder to keep hold of. YouTube however suddenly makes the average person think they are famous, and in turn makes these pseudo-celebrities much more accessible to the general public. It's mad!

Right, so yea everyone was really friendly and nice there. Although I must concur with Bryony's blog here in that UK gatherings kinda suck compared to the rest of the world because.... well... it's just kids! There was a moment when everyone was going up some escalators, and I looked down at the huge sea of people behind and just thought "school trip". After a quick spin on the bumper cars it was time for me to run to my next destination.... Bhaktivedanta Manor! (George Harrison's old place).

I'd arranged to meet Saci there at 4pm. After a driving through some busy London roads I arrived in what was the complete opposite of the gathering. Instead of getting my false-ego all inflated with compliments and autographs, I had to switch to humble mode. I love the manor so much! It's like a whole community based around spirituality. There are beautiful gardens, a river, a bakery, nice places to sit... I don't know who the person on this bench is...

I really should get my own photographs! Saci was nice enough to look out for me the whole time I was there. We went for a walk around the river, saw the cows, got some food and just talked about general life stuff which was great. That night I stayed in the guest house. I had to go to bed early-ish because the next morning we got up at 4am. It was amazing waking up and being just a few steps away from the temple room. At 4:30am I assembled with the devotees there and we sang Sri Sri Guruvstakam. I love singing in Sanskrit! I only know a few songs, but when I can do it with other people there's this amazing vibration and I feel like I could literally sing all day. It's incredible!! The main reason I wanted to stay this weekend was so I could do the morning program.

After more singing, everyone sat in a circle and chanted for an hour and a half. After this, at about 6:30am I went outside for a walk around the river. It's called the Bhagavad Gita walk because as you go around there are quotes from the Gita posted up on plaques for inspiration. As I was walking I felt indescribably happy. I love being outside anyway, but the whole situation of being away from everything - phone's computers bla bla bla. It was just really nice.

I went back inside and the temple was packed full of people. Not just monks this time, but the general public who come in from all around. Lots of singing, spinning round, flowers, fire and dancing followed. I had a great time, and then went off to take rest (have a nap). I found the whole experience really freeing and for the first time in a while I genuinely didn't care how I looked or what people thought of me. I had my hair tied back and my head felt a lot clearer.

Later on there was a festival for Ramanavami so the place was full of people. I saw a stand that was raising money for a new cow protection centre and thought this was a really worthwhile cause. They really do take care of the cows there, and it is so good to see! So I gave them the money I 'won' from upstaged. Initially I wasn't too happy about the way the other guys in the group divided the money. It didn't really add up. I was only gonna ask for enough to cover the hotel I had to pay for during the competition, and I worked out my share would cover that... but sometimes greed can overcome maths. Anyway, instead of getting angry about money, which is a trait I would hate in myself, I thought I'd just give it to charity and then none of it would concern me anyway. My personal motto is actually a lyric by 'the Guillemots': "if you want it let it go". Which roughly translates as 'Don't get too attached'.

So I met a few more people at the festival, had more food, felt very peaceful, and then it was time to leave. I was having a conversation with Saci about how the movement is sometimes accused of being brainwashing, and he told me a great quote from the great Prabhupada...

"Brainwashing? Yes it is. Your brain needs a wash."

Holy Cow

2008-04-07T22:08:00.013+01:00

I went to Bhaktivedanta Manor yesterday. It was really nice because the snow was falling and everything looked a bit like Christmas. While I was there I got to see some cows up close. Baby ones and then their parents, they were so beautiful looking, I couldn't imagine how anyone would want to eat one. They're really well looked after, there is relaxed Hare Krishna music playing in the background and everything is really clean for them. Now I know why Bill Hicks used to use the phrase "calm as Hindu cows", because they just looked so peaceful.

He also used to talk about how magic mushrooms grow on cow turds, and how when you take them you can't stop laughing because you realise the universe is in a cow turd. Or something like that. I'd probably agree.

On another note. There's an elderly lady who occasionally writes the gardening section for the magazine I work for. I sent her an e-mail about how she'd made a mistake sending us stuff for the wrong month.

Today she replied to me, and the email started.

"Ben, regarding my boob..."

I know I'm hopelessly juvenile, but this kept me laughing for a good few minutes.

Vlogging Victory

2008-04-01T23:21:00.008+01:00

Sunday night was emotional! Not for me, I wasn't there... but the vloggers - wow! They did it! They won upstaged!! It was always to be expected really, they're such a lovely bunch of people. It was a real privilege to have met every one of them. That sentence made me sound like I'm about 80 years old, but it's true! I was only in that box for the first 6 hours, and that alone seemed like a long time to me, so I can't imagine how those guys felt after sticking it out till the end of the competition!

In other news, I've been asked to write an article on reflexology for the magazine so today I went and had it done on me. Supposedly the feet are like a map of the body, and by applying pressure on certain parts of the foot, an area of the body can be triggered and healed. The lady said I have nice feet, and she is a foot expert so I could probably put that on my CV now. For those of you have forgotten what my beautiful awe-inspiring feet look like, here is a reminder...

First I got asked a bunch of questions about my lifestyle, diet and how I like to relax. She was impressed by the fact that I chant every day, and that I don't drink, smoke or have any caffeine. This was going well, so the younger version of Ben within me that is desperate for approval wanted to throw in a few other angelic character insights while I was at it - "I always look both ways when I cross the road, I'm nice to old people, and once I found £5 on the floor and gave it to the police! Can I have a lollypop now?"

So anyway, after the session was over, I got my analysis done. The results were as follows:

Large sized big toe: Means I'm a 'Big Thinker' and am very into looking at the wider picture and philosophical ideals.
Equal distance between toes, nicely separated, makes me quite independent
Shape of the toes indicates that I have a lot of ideas, but some of them are repressed and I need to find a way to express them
Close relationship with family
Wrinkle bit at bottom of foot means I can be a worrier. This is true I suppose because I tend to take on too much stuff at the same time and then can't get it all done!

An important point she mentioned is that I need to stop trying to convert people to my way of thinking. That there is no point, and that I should just try and find people who are on the same wavelength as me as this is more likely to help me progress. As she was saying this, my workmate/pal Carrie was nodding. It's because she knows I always get into arguments with people about the vegetarian thing. She's actually a vegetarian herself and I still have a go at her for eating Haribo sweets because she's essentially just chewing on mashed-up cow bone. And I've been very vocal when I see people coming out of McDonalds, accusing them of eating 'corpse in a bap' (in a loud voice). I always argue the point that a meat-eater is no better than a rapist because he puts his own desires above the suffering of other living entities, and this always gets a few frowns from my workmates. The thing is though, I just have to face the fact we live in a world full of ignorance, and the general population is quite dumb and animalistic. Very few people will seek the truth because they're so addicted to their senses. Instead of trying to change those people I should just leave them to it, we're all on our own journey after all. I'm wasting all my time being around them and it's holding me back when I could be moving forward. This doesn't mean I'm going to ignore people now, I just need to be less preachy.

Anyway, afterwards I felt sooo relaxed. I came outside into what seemed like summer, blue skies and sunshine in abundance. I felt all at one with nature & myself and started thinking about life and stuff for about an hour.

ALMOST on the Russell Brand show

2008-03-23T08:47:00.022Z

So I got an e-mail yesterday from Nic, the producer of Russell Brand's BBC Radio 2 show. He said they wanted me to go on the show last night for a chat about youtube etc. Apparently he went to the youtube press office and they recommended me to be a kind of spokesperson for the site which is amazing! I was given all these facts to say, like "the website started in 2005 and it's got to the stage where 10 hours of video are being uploaded every minute". Obviously this insightful information would sound like it's off the top of my head and not scripted in any way.

Anyway, none of this actually happened because I got bumped for the son of Rod Hull! For those not in the know, Rod Hull was a pioneer of the "Emu glove-puppet"in the 80s, and since the death of Rod, his son has re-birthed the idea for his own version of the kids TV show. They were on the phone so long to him that I didn't get to go on... and neither did Noel Gallagher. Ok, so Noel is slightly more significant, but still! Oh well, maybe another time. I already went on the show when it was on BBC6Music (which was awesome!) so maybe I'm being greedy with airtime.

Yesterday was still great though because I got to see some old friends that I haven't seen for wayyyy to long. We all went to uni together for 3 years. Ann came down from the north, Sara from Brighton, Sohaib from Kingston and me from Kent, and we all met up for pizza and a shakeaway (which is a milkshake restaurant the likes of which you've never seen - check out the menu here).

ALSO, I'd like to point out that I got recognized TWICE in London on Friday. There was a Hare Krishna festival on and a guy came up to me and said he knew me from youtube, and so did his friend. Then later another guy came up and said I was like a celebrity. I guess I am really, just without the fame aspect. It must be because when you search "Hare krishna" on youtube I automatically come up. Someone came up to me in the temple last week as well. It's really funny though because at the moment I feel like such an armchair spiritualist, not worthy of any praise from anyone. I still have my material possessions, I still get excited about little things like milkshakes and episodes of Lost, how then can I be taken seriously as a transcendentalist?

I read vedic literature every day to help guide my mind in the right direction, and I had a wonderful realisation this week: After reading that everything we experience in this world is just the various interactions of material nature, and that our true self is always still and unaffected, I could really feel a sense of detachment. I remember walking in the freezing cold for an hour yesterday morning and not caring that my body was cold because I didn't feel like the body was me. It's just an observation chamber for us to view the material world, and anything that happens to the body (which is completely temporary and destructible) should not be held as any great significance. All anxieties arise because of our gross attachment to the body, and so if we could all just become more aloof from our material addiction we'd be a lot happier. I'm planning to stay in the temple next week so hopefully this will be the start of more realisations. Well that would be nice.

Another notable thing that happened was on Friday - when walking down Oxford street, Mandy reminded me that Alex (Nerimon) works down the apple store, so we decided to go in and touch him. It was very busy in there so we only got to say a brief hello but I'm glad we did!

Happy Easter Everybody! Don't forget to thank Jesus who died painfully on a cross so that you could enjoy a packet of Smarties.

YouTube Anniversary

2008-03-19T20:43:00.006Z

Well it's been a whole year of wonderful youtube, and with nearly 10'000 subscribers under my belt, I'm starting to reevaluate why I bought the belt in the first place. Turns out it wasn't to hold my trousers up after all. It's real purpose is to contain vast amounts of people.

I made a celebration video to say thankyou to all the people who have supported me over the year etc. and did a competition giving away lots of exciting video-related prizes. However, having watched the video back I realised I look genuinely annoyed all the way through and didn't want people to think I'm angry with them. Because I'm not! Observe.

So instead I just posted another video I did previously (but never put up) called "comments" or something. I was just being aloof there but didn't pull it off... it was definitely called comments, I know that for a fact. Now tell me, is it very immature of me that I find this highly entertaining...

And another thing. Apparently I am a goat. Or at least related to one. People have been telling me this all week, and somone e-mailed me the evidence yesterday.

Perspective

2008-03-15T10:55:00.008Z

I'm not usually a fan of impersonal e-mails (because they're not about me), but check out this fantastic one I got from Rashelle...

ANTARES IS THE 15TH BRIGHTEST STAR IN THE SKY .

IT IS MORE THAN 1000 LIGHT YEARS AWAY.
NOW HOW BIG
ARE YOU?

NOW TRY TO WRAP YOUR MIND AROUND THIS.........

THIS IS A HUBBLE TELESCOPE ULTRA DEEP FIELD INFRARED VIEW OF COUNTLESS 'ENTIRE' GALAXIES BILLIONS OF LIGHT-YEARS AWAY.

HUMBLING, ISN'T IT?

And yet, Someone knows how many hairs are on your head,
and not even a single sparrow dies apart from His
will (Mt. 10:29-31)!

NOW
HOW BIG ARE YOU?
AND HOW BIG ARE THE THINGS
THAT UPSET YOU TODAY?

AND HOW BIG IS YOUR GOD?

KEEP LIFE IN
PERSPECTIVE.

BE HAPPY
AND DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!
IT'S ALL UNDER CONTROL

I have a lot of heterosexual man-love for these guys

2008-03-13T22:14:00.004Z

This is us in Bristol exactly a month ago. Aside from the general hilarity, the best part of this video is at 2:35 - 2:38 when Dave make a peace sign, and a woman sitting at the counter behind slides across to fit in the gap. I've watched that bit about 7 times now and it cracks me up every time.

nerimon
musicfromblueskies

Joanna Wang

2008-03-09T20:43:00.004Z

I've always been in awe of those musicians who can play and sing with a natural ease inseperable from their own breathing. Jeff Buckley and Jimi Hendrix were prime possessors of such a quality, and it seems proliferating an internal ability can now be affixed to those with names beginning with the letter J. The aliteration goes like this... Jeff, Jimi, and now... Joanna.

So I stumbled across a 'random' channel on youtube in the name of festouverture. Both her cover versions and original material blew me away, and I was feeling surprised that a major label hasn't snapped her up by now. Turns out, she's actually signed to a major label and is a pretty big star in Taiwan. Her album is currently top ten out there, and it's now becoming clear that she's a reluctant popstar posting videos on youtube as a secret outlet for suppressed genius. My words, not hers... but I seriously recommend you all go check out her stuff!

Baby Eating

2008-03-04T21:34:00.007Z

I think thebabyeaters have to be one of my all time favourite youtube channels. They've injected some much-needed fun back into the site. No contrived emotional speeches, or topical vlogs attempting to get into the most discussed list... just good ideas! They had a video marathon on Sunday and I got to play the part of a goldfish, check it yo!

On a different note, someone just wrote me an e-mail asking if they can send me something through the post. After giving my default response of "I can't give my address out over the internet because you will come and kill me through my letterbox", they sent me a link to what it was. Apparently this is one of my catchphrases, hahaha....

Vegetarian-O

2008-02-25T01:11:00.008Z

I heard some really awesome news the other day. The legend that is Steve-O (from Jackass) has become vegetarian. And what's more is that he has attribted the decision to a video that I made! How cool is that!!

Here is a link to a blog he wrote on the subject. He mentions me towards the end...

Steve-O's Blog

On a seperate note. I was sitting outside Charing Cross station today, and a little boy just came up and wee'd in front of me. Urinated.

It was weird.

UPSTAGED

2008-02-15T22:00:00.012Z

I went on a reality TV show called UPSTAGED on Tuesday. It went live on BBC interactive and across the internet. Basically, myself and 9 other Vloggers from the UK teamed up to form a strange kinda supergroup - the likes of which have never been seen!

I must admit, my favourite part of the day was just meeting the other Vloggers. They were all really nice, and it was like a fun YouTube gathering. Mandy came and met everyone too. It was surreal seeing the familiar faces of strangers, yet oddly comfortable.

We got briefed beforehand about what we could and couldn't do. Obviously, no swearing or nudity allowed, that's a given, but I was shocked to find I wasn't allowed to mention the Hare Krishna movement on the show as it's seen as being "offensive". The BBC saw my YouTube Page and apparently freaked out about letting me on the show after viewing the title of my video "internet pedophiles ", and further had issues with my "Hare Krishna" video because of all the extremist religious hate comments it has received from the Muslim community. But how is the video itself offensive?

One of the main reasons I'd agreed to go on this show was so I could sing a few Krishna songs. If it was just me in the act, I would have walked out at this point. But I didn't want to let the rest of the group down so I stayed despite my insult.

The actual show itself, I must say... it made me feel a little bit dirty. I've always hated people that go on big brother and Moo like a cow for the sake of recognition, and it felt that this was what we were doing. I believe it was an eloquently wise Ricky Gervais who acknowledged that on these types of programs "you leave your dignity at the door", and I think we all did a little bit.

The first hour or so was fun, I enjoyed the novelty of it all, having our intro videos appear on the big screen, being pursued by cameras, improvisation games and general banter. But then it just seemed to go downhill and felt a bit like a job. I consider myself quite a happy and upbeat person, but happy and upbeat for 6 hours?! Surely that requires drugs.

The guy we were up against, Chris Cohen, deserved to win. I've watched back the highlights video and he was clearly the better act of the day. We won however due to the phenomenal support we received from the YouTube online community. He didn't stand a chance, even if he was better, which he was.

I could only stay one day because it's hard for me to get one day off work, let alone a week. But the other guys stayed on to win the whole week! And when I say other guys, I mean THESE guys:

Myles - Blade376

The ringleader, the man who organised it all! Myles was a great host, and brought the whole thing together.

Davey - Daveyboyz

Great guy and a calming influence on the group. Has the highest potential for becoming a TV presenter / talk show host, out of all us I feel.

Daniel - DMcLean1989

Very intelligent lad, and Bristol resident who I suspect may be an actual genius. One of those people who will probably be successful in whichever field he doth choose.

Elen - els666

Friendly gal with a killer voice and a lotta confidence. Will do well with the ol singing lark.

Elise - eliseharris

She is actually insane, no joke, but in a funny way. I do believe she made me have a conversation with a sock at one point.

Matt - Metallicamatt

Nice to be in there with a fellow metal person. not literally, I can assure you I am made of skin.

Dave - musicfromblueskies

Probably the most talented of the bunch. I was pretty much blown away by the fantastic singing and guitaring. I'd pay to hear him play live again. Great guy also!

Alex - Nerimon

Alex is my YT buddy and we've met before, so it was great to catch up again! Really funny guy, has some great one-liners, but perhaps my favourite moment of the day was when he said on live TV... "how do you open this fucking banana" and then realised the microphone was switched on. Brilliant!

Matt - Smivadee

Smiv is a cool guy. One of the challenges we did was that I had to teach him to play a song on guitar in a couple of minutes, while Dave taught Daniel. He's left handed which means we were at a significant disadantage but I think we pulled it off? (guitar pun)

Virginia Moon

2008-02-15T21:48:00.005Z

Here is a wonderful collaboration I took part in with babyporridge. I think it came out so well, mainly thanks to the vocal splendor of the Nikki. Have a look!

Kula Shaker

2008-02-10T19:02:00.000Z

Went to an awesome gig with Paperlilies on Friday - Here is a myspace photo we took...

And by MySpace photo, I mean photo of me looking baffled. Ok I pretty much love this band, named after King Kulasekhara. They were one of my first musical loves back in the 90s, yea that's right, I'm now old enough to reference a past decade! If you don't remember, here is a musical video...

People are saying the new stuff isn't as good as the old stuff. I however strongly disagree! I love their new song 'shadowlands', and 'Song of Love/Narayana' sounds like a Hindu tinted Knights of Cydonia (music snobs will know what I mean).

Howdy YouTube Partner

2008-02-07T13:21:00.000Z

Hooray! I got invited to join the program! It took a bit longer than everyone else as a few e-mails got lost in my spam box (yahoo mail is overprotective of me). But now look! Adverts go next to my videos, but in return I get a lovely new banner and 5p!! I am feeling great joy...

It's a sign!

2008-02-03T20:02:00.000Z

One of the things I often like to do when I'm on my own, is look at signs and decide what they mean. Then I take photos of them and laugh for days.

JOIN ME IN MY FUN

WARNING: Sagittarius ahead

Man with heavy umbrella

Happy Birthday to the Laura

2008-01-31T23:57:00.000Z

The end of this video make-a-me laugh =)

Post-its are fun

2008-01-29T21:34:00.000Z

An example of what I do at work.

The New Tim Burton Movie... apparently it's dark

2008-01-27T22:17:00.001Z

I've had a nice few days, I liked them. Had my ultrasound on Friday, that was funny. It's always kinda surreal getting naked in front of a stranger. Covering yourself up all day and then suddenly revealing your unashamed body as if to say "There is nothing left for you to see, you have unearthed the very core of my being!"

In such situations when I'm supposed to feel embarrassed, my initial knee-jerk reaction is always to acquire more confidence, and over propel my own personality... "naked I am! right here! NOW, YOU, put that bar code scanner on my tummy and let's see if I've got a baby". I get the results on Wednesday. I don't think I'm pregnant... although.... hold on... the film 'Junior' from the early 90s.... it is possible. Hollywood Science would never lie to us.

Yesterday I saw that new Johnny Depp / Tim Burton film. It was dark, thats a given - but I must say, I always step into a Burton film with the wide-eyed aspirations of a boy who was once so awe-stricken and spellbound by the surreal imagination of Beetlejuice, so much to the extent that if someone uttered the word three times, I'd automatically follow it with my own paranoid rendition of Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Somewhat akin to the term "jinx" (it's predecessor), this was the only way to break its curse. Unfortunately Sweeny Todd could never live up to the self-induced hype I imposed upon it, but still a very enjoyable film.

We saw it at the O2 arena (for anyone who doesn't know, this is a huge dome structure named after a mobile phone company), where me and Mandypoos discovered the joys of the O2 chillout bubble:

Then today I went to Bhaktivedanta Manor in Watford. I love it there. Full of rivers and gardens and saintly people, could there be a better place?

15 dickheads in a box

2008-01-24T20:34:00.000Z

Vloggers from the UK have teamed together and will be appearing on the BBC3 show - upstaged. Me and a bunch of other people will be standing in a big glass box/stage for 8 hours doing all kinds of crazy tricks. Apparently our audition video got refused because I use the word "dickhead" in it. So hold on BBC, you can have people stabbing eachother on eastenders at 8pm (apparently that happened this week), but I can't say a bit of language that never even existed before someone made it up? Oh BBC, silly is what you are. But I love you, all three letters of you. Is it that bad that I said dickhead? Judge for yourself...

What I'm reading

2008-01-23T19:57:00.000Z

I've just finished reading Srimad Bhagavatam, fourth Canto part 1. It talks a lot of the demigod Siva (Shiva) who is known to be one of the 3 most powerful beings in this universe. Brahma creates, Vishnu maintains, and Siva destroys. At the end of this cycle, Siva is to wind up the cosmic manifestation and dissolve this entire spherical universe. It gets sucked up into Krishna (the supreme personality of Godhead) and then begins again.

I've always hated religion. I think that's because as a kid I always associated it with dusty churches, archaic bible passages and it's hefty reputation as a manipulator for social order. When I first got into Krishna Consciousness aged 18, the movement distinctly described itself as a SCIENCE not a religion. A purification process to cleanse the covered materialistic brainwashed soul. It talked of mystic yoga, spiritual transcendence and infinite worlds beyond time and space. Far from the mundane cries of "thou shalt not kill" then.

The Bhagavatam is incredible. A complete encyclopedia of material and spiritual knowledge. I treat it like drugs - I have to read for at least an hour a day! It's like a shower of knowledge raining down on my mind, with each drop desensitising yet another illusion I had about the world. I worry that if I stop reading, I'll end up like how I was before, and that scares me, a lot.

Anyway... SHIVA! Yea man, he's really cool to read about. He has matted long hair, bears a crescent moon on his head, smokes weed, wears skulls around his neck (the bringer of death I suppose) and is completely aloof from attachment to any material object. Sounds like a few people I went to uni with. When the end comes he laughs like a madman and performs his cosmic dance.

So where does this info come from? The oldest source in creation, the Vedas. They predate anything else in history. Many people consider old scriptures to be unreliable, describing them as manmade or inapplicable to the modern day. With the Vedas, both these statements would be false. Here is something I read today in the Bhagavad Gita:

"For him who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends; but for one who has failed to do so, his mind will remain the greatest enemy."

Statements like this will always apply. The reason I put so much trust in something so old, as a link to the truth is the same reason I think children are more intelligent than adults: They're closer to the source.

I can't believe it's not twice the price

2008-01-21T22:17:00.000Z

I found these in a shop today. Is it wrong that they excite me? I was just walking along thinking, "hey yea, I'm an average kinda guy, I like to tie my hair back when I read sometimes" and then "... hold on! Some genius has eloquently put all manner of hair bands together - in the same place! For only £1!! You will be mine."

I've had long hair on my head on and off since I was 14... apart from that time I had a shaved it all off, and that time it was all spiked up, and lets not even mention the curtains incident. But anyway, as a guy with long hair, hair-bands have always been a foreign concept. Much like the transvestites of yesteryear it's always been a case of borrowing off mums and girlfriends (how many mums do I have?). But now today, finally, for the first time ever... I bought my own!!

It was kind of a big deal. I sat in the car with them for ages. Just staring at them. "There's just so many" I thought, "I could wear a different one every day if I wanted to... but I won't." Is this normal? The pack came with hair clips though, does anybody want some hairclips, I don't want them. Hair clips are for girls.